Arctic Light

Yesterday I finally got the rest of my older fanfic uploaded to my AO3 account. Since very little of the SGA stuff is on there right now (and it's a pretty low priority for me right now, given that my SGA stories have their own site) it gives a somewhat skewed impression of which fandoms I'm active in ...

It was kind of fascinating to go back through those old stories. I made myself adhere to a strict policy of "no rewriting and no warnings for crappy writing/fangirl Japanese/blatant POV errors" because otherwise it's a slippery slope that leads to madness. *g* Still, even though some of them are a bit wince-inducing to me now (and angsty, oh my god, the ANGST; wee!friendshipper was such an emo little thing) there's also quite a bit in there that I'm awfully proud of. Sand and Light, the first novel-length fic I ever wrote (in Trigun fandom, ten years ago), is still one of my favorites of everything I've written. I kept getting sucked into re-reading chapters as I uploaded them. Sure, there are things I'd do differently now -- lots of things. But I'm still happy with that story. (And I ran across a rec for it not more than a year ago, so people still read it. *bounces*)

Also, trying to figure out how to apply the warnings system in some fandoms is hilariously difficult. Do you use death warnings if you're writing for a series in which characters die constantly in canon, there are about a half-dozen loopholes to bring them back, and one of the main settings for the series is the afterlife?

ANYWAY. The main reason why I did this (so that I didn't have to do it later and annoy people) is that AO3 finally has Subscriptions, like ff.net's Author Alerts! You can click on the "Subscribe" button on an AO3 author's homepage and get email alerts when they post something new. *bounces* Right now, I don't think there are any authors I'm interested in that I'm not following on LJ or DW (I'm hardly reading any fic right now, to be honest) but I expect I will be getting lots of use out of this in the future. :D

This entry is also posted at http://friendshipper.dreamwidth.org/322553.html with comments.

Found via serrende:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

This put such a huge smile on my face. And the song is gorgeous!

This entry is also posted at http://friendshipper.dreamwidth.org/314394.html with comments.

So today, I woke up in a dark mood and sulked around through my morning, and then I went and hunted down some ATLA fanart to rec at fanart_recs - and, I don't know, as I poked through art, my mood cleared up and I realized that it's not the only time. I've been prone to depression all my life -- usually not severe enough to need to be medicated for it, but I'm definitely prone to pretty low down-swings. And I'm coming to realize that fandom is, in fact, one of my coping mechanisms to get myself out of the downward spirals that I can get into. It's not a magic cure-all, of course, but you know what? It helps. It really does.

I got back into fandom in 2006 after being gone for years -- I tried to pull back, tried to stop writing fanfic because that's what I thought a serious, aspiring-pro writer needed to do. I was also moving and starting a new job, and even before that, I hadn't really been in fandom per se (at least not fanfic fandom) -- mostly I just read and wrote fic. So it didn't seem like a difficult thing to give up. But then I fell hard for SGA in early 2006, and got into LJ, and, well ...

It's been awesome.

There have been major downs to balance out the highs, of course. There've been times when I just wanted to turn my back on the whole mess, times that fandom has made me cry and scream and throw things. I'm still guilty and embarrassed over some of the mistakes I've made and the careless things I've said; there are things I wish I could take back, and times I really wanted life to have an "undo".

But all in all, ups and downs together, how could I trade the last four years and all of you guys for anything? I've made so many friends. I've gone places, done things, seen things that I would never have done if not for people I've met in fandom. I've been introduced to hundreds of new books, movies, TV shows, manga and anime. I've had wonderful, thought-provoking conversations on so many different topics. I've read blog posts and critical meta that's opened my eyes to things in the world around me I never dreamed about.

I love you guys. I love that you share the things that thrill you and make you squee, because reading your squee-posts makes me happy and high, even if I'm not in your fandom or 'ship zone. Sometimes I have to struggle with guilt about just being uncritically happy about something, but you guys set a fantastic example. Never feel guilty for being happy!

But don't feel guilty for being critical, either. I love that you all are smart and thoughtful and that I can have smart and thinky conversations with you. I love that I have learned so much, through fandom, about different ways of thinking and seeing and being; I feel like I'm not only a much better writer but a much better, more empathic person because of the things I've learned from all of you, from the discussions you've had and the ones you've linked me to. I love that so many of you, in big and little ways, are doing things to make the world better; even if we disagree, I still respect your bravery to stand up for what you believe in, and watching you makes me want to try to make the world better, too. (But there's absolutely nothing wrong with just showing up for the squee and the fic! It's not a party if no one comes, and if fandom is an escape zone for you -- as it often is for me -- please don't feel like you have to change!)

I love how so many of you have become not just LJ friends but real true friends, most of whom I've actually managed to meet in person at least once! (And eventually, I hope I'll meet all the ones I haven't!) And maybe some of you that I don't know very well are just friends I haven't made yet (including the lurkers! how could I not mention the lurkers? I've lurked through entire fandoms in the past; there is no shame in lurking!).

I really appreciate that those of you who've moved most of your operations to DW are still willing to use LJ enough to stay in touch with me. :D Knowing how some of you feel about LJ, that really means a lot to me.

Fandom in general (sort of like life itself) can be a big, terrifying, often war-torn place. No one should have to navigate fandom alone, without a road map and a safety net. ♥ That's you guys: the people who listen and comfort me, the people who share fic with me and point me to the links I'd otherwise miss -- the people who help me find my way around, and then provide a comfy place to come home to when I've had enough of the big scary world for a while.

Just writing all of this has basically put me on top of the world.

I think I can say without any bias at all that you guys are the very bestest flist ever. ♥ ♥ ♥

1. I got assorted phone calling done today - updated my credit card with the phone company, called the water truck people and let them know that they really shouldn't try to get the truck up our driveway until after the melt is over (we have our water delivered to a holding tank via tanker truck - not that uncommon in Fairbanks), etc. *checks stuff off list happily*

2. Bunnies! There are snowshoe hares all over the place. I looked out the window this morning and counted four white hares hopping around out in the yard. Some people consider them a pest, but I don't; I don't bother them, and they don't bother me. Having a lot of wildlife around the place is one of the things I really like about living in Alaska.

Today's happy is getting a Dreamwidth invite code -- squee! \o/ I used it on my personal account, not this one, because I had liked the idea of moving that one somewhere fresh anyway. (You're not missing much; it's mainly just random little anecdotes about my life and staying in touch with old friends from college etc.) So I've been poking around, customizing, and exploring. I used their import feature to move all my old posts over, with comments -- it took about an hour to finish, and seemed to get everything, as far as I can tell. Very cool! Works as advertised!

Today's other happy is this story by vain_glorious: Men in Stiff Procession (SGA, gen, PG, about 21,000 words). There has been a real dearth of plotty team fics lately, and I really loved this one. I already rec'd it at stargategenrec but figured that I'd rec it here too, for those who don't follow that community. It's an AU of "Inquisition" in which Sheppard is exiled by the tribunal and subsequently declared dead by the SGC when he can't be found; Mitchell is brought in to take over as military commander of Atlantis. I am not a Cameron fan, but I surprised myself by really enjoying him in this -- I loved his outside POV on Atlantis as he tries to fit into a group of people who resent him for stepping into Sheppard's shoes, and his observations on the team members and their dynamic in Sheppard's absence was really interesting. (The story actually begins here with a brief "Inquisition" coda; the much longer story is a sort of sequel to it.) If you want to know if this one is a deathfic or not before reading it, highlight the span-coded text (spoils the ending!): Not a deathfic; there is a happy ending.

It's been impossible to walk the dogs anywhere but the driveway because of the snow (which is still too deep to wade through, dammit). But a couple of days ago, some snowmobilers did a bunch of joyriding in the gravel pit. (Yeah, our house is right next to a gravel pit.) Normally this wouldn't be a good thing, because the gravel pit is a big draw for teenagers from town to come out and zip around on their dirt bikes or ATVs or whatnot, driving me crazy and making me nervous about walking out there by myself. But in this case, it packed down the snow enough to create a network of trails, where I took the dogs today. They were delighted, in standard dog fashion, running around exploring like they thought the trails actually went somewhere. And I enjoyed getting out of the yard for a while. It was so warm out there that I ended up getting too hot in my polar fleece -- I think it's pretty close to 50 degrees today, which felt awesome.

I also bought a little bookcase a few days ago that was on sale for super-cheap and set it up downstairs today. It really is tiny, smaller than I'd realized from the box, but very nice-looking, and we needed something next to the table to put the inevitable piles of magazines, books and unopened mail.

This is actually yesterday's post - I didn't make a post yesterday because, frankly, work yesterday wasn't fun, and the last thing I wanted to do when I came home was go online; I just made dinner and went and hid with my book for awhile.

Things which were happy:

1. The book, of course!

2. I don't have to be back at work for three days. \o/

3. I hate to keep harping on spring, but really ... spring! Last night, walking the dogs, I noticed that there is flowing water on top of the 6-foot-thick layer of ice in the main branch of the creek. I haven't seen flowing water since October! \o/ And the other branch of the creek is threatening to flood our driveway (the only thing holding it back is a dike of snow, which is rapidly melting) -- I realize that having the driveway flood out wouldn't be the happiest thing ever, but it certainly promises to be interesting. One of my favorite things about having a creek on our property is just watching it change from season to season, because it always does something different and new.

Today's happy: my Dresden Files book is here! \o/ *runs off to read*

1. Apple's gone DRM-free on all iTunes music! *cheers* And they're implementing variable pricing, from 69 cents to $1.29. This is actually good news for me, since most of what I buy from iTunes are older or obscure songs that are likely to fall into the cheaper price tier.

2. I love having so much light in the evening. It's not fully dark until 10 p.m. or so; it means that I can get off work, make dinner and still have time to walk the dogs or do outside chores before it's too dark to see. (Of course, soon we'll have more light in the evening than we know what to do with. But at this time of year, it's very pleasant.)

3. I read a totally awesome coda for SPN 4x17, Apocrypha: Alias Smith & Wesson (with spoilers for 4x18), which is gen and deliciously meta. (Warning: if you really like the direction this season has gone, you may not find it nearly as happymaking as I did. It reads very much as a fixit. But 4x17 has done amazing things for my fannishness about the show. The only problem is that now I want to watch the Smith & Wesson show, not the Winchester & Winchester show.)

4. Edited with more happy: I just checked Amazon.com's package tracking, and the package with my Dresden Files book is in Fairbanks! It should be in my mailbox tomorrow. *squees*

I was tagged! I don't necessarily do tag-memes unless I want to, and I don't tag people, but I was thinking this one looked fun anyway; I enjoy looking on my f'list and seeing "days of happy" posts.

EIGHT DAYS OF HAPPY!

1. Post about something that made you happy today, even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this every day for eight days.
3. Tag eight of your friends to do the same.

1. Well, today's big happy is of course this: Vermont becomes 4th state to legalize same-sex marriage. This also kinda clinches it: if we ever move somewhere other than Alaska, Vermont is at the top of the list. On a driving trip with my sister two years ago, I fell in love with their gorgeous mountains and waterfalls and little mill towns. And I really can't tell you how well a state with gay marriage and some of the most permissive gun laws in the country fits the political profile of this household. *g*

(I think the bit that really got me in the article was the maple syrup farmer who came down to the capital for the passing of the bill. Because "rural" does not have to be synonymous with "close-minded", "bigoted" or "redneck".)

2. The sun is out, and it's supposed to get above freezing every day this week! I'm thoroughly ready to get rid of some of this snow.

3. Yesterday I did a cleaning job on the upstairs that really needed to be done, and it makes me happy to look around and see my office space all tidy -- not immaculate (I don't think I'm capable of that), but not taunting me with a massive cleaning job that needed doing, either.

4. I'm happy for the people on my f'list who are heading into Passover and Easter, because it makes them happy. Those aren't my holidays, but going on my f'list and seeing people making preparations to celebrate their holidays with family and friends definitely makes me happy.