If you had a kazillion dollars...

... you too could live in a house furnished entirely in white fur and driftwood!

rachelmanija and I found this site of showcase homes and now we can't stop mocking it.

For example, appreciate this house which looks like relatively normal minimalist design at first glance but reveals new depths of bonkers the more you scroll down. The giant skulls! The ladder to nowhere! The bag covered with eyes! The incomprehensible taps in the bathroom! (Evenings are punctuated by screams as guests and residents try to figure out how to take a bath without scalding themselves.)

And let's not overlook the little girl's room in which the only decoration is a four-foot-high portrait of a parakeet that looks like it's planning to eat you as soon as the lights go out.

Elsewhere in Bonkers Designville, what do you want in a house with three kids? Three white sofas!

I also appreciate the hallway bench that looks like it came straight out of an airport waiting area. "My client loved it the moment she saw it and understood what I was trying to evoke," says the associated quote from the designer. Yes, and what you're evoking is "I just missed my connecting flight to Belgium."

Also, storing your plants in the fireplace is apparently a thing. (The fireplace is also a useful space in which to store your driftwood!)

And the children's rooms continue to be nightmare fuel, as evidenced by this house in which some poor little girl gets to do homework while staring directly into the eyes of Judgmental Barbie from a foot and a half away. Also, what could be better as a design element in a small child's bedroom than a tippy and breakable vase full of sticks? (At least this child has actual toys, unlike the one with the hungry parakeet.)

I am now amusing myself

... by thinking about Ward and Joy growing up in one of these ridiculously OTT minimalist houses. (This is somewhat on the same continuum as Harold's penthouse aesthetic, although Harold seems to like more art deco and a lot less white.)

Ward gets the giant parakeet over his bed.

Joy probably gets stared at by Judgmental Barbie, though.