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Resolutions
Jan. 2nd, 2023 07:31 amI've mentioned this before, but I don't really do New Year's resolutions as such - instead I do a new something-or-other like that every month. (Well, theoretically. I slipped off very badly during the pandemic and subsequent illness - which actually makes me realize how long I've been doing this. I think 2017 or 2018 was the first year.)
Anyway, there are a number of things about this that make it work better for me than the typical once-a-year New Year's resolutions. For one thing, it can easily just be something that only has to be done for a month - maybe you don't have the need or the desire to declutter for a whole year, but it would be a real benefit to do 15 minutes of decluttering every day for a month. It's a good way to try on new habits and see if they're going to work out. That was actually what I started out with, doing this as a way of habit-testing; it's actually a really useful system for trying a new thing and see if it's going to be helpful, or useless and exhausting, or something that might work great for other people but is literally impossible for me to keep up with. Sometimes I nope out three days into the month when it's obvious that whatever I was trying to do is Not Working. But that's okay; there's always next month.
For my own purposes, it's usually by far the best to make it something that's concrete, achievable, and repeatable on a daily or weekly basis. Not "I'll start exercising this month" but "I'll do 20 minutes of yoga every day" or "I'll go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, Friday"; not "I'll finish my novel this month" (though that can be a perfectly good goal if it's not specifically habit-forming that you're going for) but "I'll try writing 500 words every day" or "I'll write 3K words 4 days a week and take the other days off and see what that feels like."
I feel like the thing that really makes this work is a) specificity, and b) the fact that it is *way* easier to commit to this kind of specificity on a monthly basis than a yearly basis. I don't know if I'll even find out that I *like* getting up at 7 a.m. every day, or writing 3K a day 4 days a week, or whatever it is that I'm trying to do, but at least I can try it for a couple of weeks and then nope out if it's clearly detrimental, as opposed to committing to something sight-unseen for the whole year that I'll have quit doing by February.
It also makes it easier to target in on one specific thing, which is typically less of a disaster for most people than trying to start 6 different new things at once. I mean, some of what I want to do this year includes getting up earlier, exercising more, and writing more consistently, but I've seen what happens if I try to do all those at once and - no. So this month, I'm just focusing on the getting up part, trying to build a consistent going to bed and getting up schedule, and see where that gets me. Some months (most of last year, actually), this would have been literally impossible, which is part of why my sleep schedule is a complete wreck now, but - we'll see! It's only a month, and if it turns out that I can't reschedule myself, then it's better to know that than to spend a whole year beating my head against it.
It doesn't have to be a big thing, either. Two of the ones that I've actually managed to get to stick long-term from past years are closing my browser tabs every night (well, most nights), and not leaving my dishes in the sink overnight.
And at this point - well, on months when I do it, which as mentioned almost stopped during a lot of the pandemic - I like the routine of picking something new at the start of the month. It's a bit exciting for me, or at least interesting. It makes me look at my vague and unformed ideas for what I might find fun, useful, or interesting in my life, narrow them down to the ones I find most important, and make an actual plan (with a built-in boundary, surprisingly useful!) for how to get there. Or it could just be something fun that I want to do for a month. It's very flexible.
I mention this mostly in case anyone might find it fun and useful - and also for a bit of accountability on my "getting up and going to bed earlier" project. (I was up this morning at 6:30, but I suspect this is an aberration that will not continue.)
Anyway, there are a number of things about this that make it work better for me than the typical once-a-year New Year's resolutions. For one thing, it can easily just be something that only has to be done for a month - maybe you don't have the need or the desire to declutter for a whole year, but it would be a real benefit to do 15 minutes of decluttering every day for a month. It's a good way to try on new habits and see if they're going to work out. That was actually what I started out with, doing this as a way of habit-testing; it's actually a really useful system for trying a new thing and see if it's going to be helpful, or useless and exhausting, or something that might work great for other people but is literally impossible for me to keep up with. Sometimes I nope out three days into the month when it's obvious that whatever I was trying to do is Not Working. But that's okay; there's always next month.
For my own purposes, it's usually by far the best to make it something that's concrete, achievable, and repeatable on a daily or weekly basis. Not "I'll start exercising this month" but "I'll do 20 minutes of yoga every day" or "I'll go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, Friday"; not "I'll finish my novel this month" (though that can be a perfectly good goal if it's not specifically habit-forming that you're going for) but "I'll try writing 500 words every day" or "I'll write 3K words 4 days a week and take the other days off and see what that feels like."
I feel like the thing that really makes this work is a) specificity, and b) the fact that it is *way* easier to commit to this kind of specificity on a monthly basis than a yearly basis. I don't know if I'll even find out that I *like* getting up at 7 a.m. every day, or writing 3K a day 4 days a week, or whatever it is that I'm trying to do, but at least I can try it for a couple of weeks and then nope out if it's clearly detrimental, as opposed to committing to something sight-unseen for the whole year that I'll have quit doing by February.
It also makes it easier to target in on one specific thing, which is typically less of a disaster for most people than trying to start 6 different new things at once. I mean, some of what I want to do this year includes getting up earlier, exercising more, and writing more consistently, but I've seen what happens if I try to do all those at once and - no. So this month, I'm just focusing on the getting up part, trying to build a consistent going to bed and getting up schedule, and see where that gets me. Some months (most of last year, actually), this would have been literally impossible, which is part of why my sleep schedule is a complete wreck now, but - we'll see! It's only a month, and if it turns out that I can't reschedule myself, then it's better to know that than to spend a whole year beating my head against it.
It doesn't have to be a big thing, either. Two of the ones that I've actually managed to get to stick long-term from past years are closing my browser tabs every night (well, most nights), and not leaving my dishes in the sink overnight.
And at this point - well, on months when I do it, which as mentioned almost stopped during a lot of the pandemic - I like the routine of picking something new at the start of the month. It's a bit exciting for me, or at least interesting. It makes me look at my vague and unformed ideas for what I might find fun, useful, or interesting in my life, narrow them down to the ones I find most important, and make an actual plan (with a built-in boundary, surprisingly useful!) for how to get there. Or it could just be something fun that I want to do for a month. It's very flexible.
I mention this mostly in case anyone might find it fun and useful - and also for a bit of accountability on my "getting up and going to bed earlier" project. (I was up this morning at 6:30, but I suspect this is an aberration that will not continue.)
