Supernatural fic: Sam's Journal

[sholio]

This is for derry667 -- your ficathon story, at long last! I hope it was worth the wait (ha.) and bears at least some resemblance to what you asked for...

Title: Sam's Journal
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 for language, because Sammy's been hanging around Dean too much. Gen.
Spoilers: General spoilers up to the end of the second season, and big ones for "All Hell Breaks Loose 2".
Summary: The journal was Ellen's idea.

Notes: Mostly images, with plain-text version included for most pages.

Click here to begin reading Sam's journal.

If you find any broken links or missing images, please comment or email and let me know -- I've tried to check it all as thoroughly as possible, but I might have missed something.

Comments

[derry667.livejournal.com]

I love and adore this so freakin much!

You did a picture fic! I really didn't expect that. I love your picture fics. I love your "plain writing" fic too, but that's beside the point.

Oh, there's just some much to love about this one! Saint Dean of Winchester, the martyr already had me ROTFLMAO and then Sam's I will not kill my brother before the demons get him mantra just totally did me in! And country music solutions! Ah, why the heck not?

But I think my favourite of Sam's research theories written in the margins was the acupuncture one. Oh, God! I would so love to be a fly on the wall when he suggested that to Dean.

One a more serious note, I really liked the way the crossed out bits of text showed the way Sam was carefully choosing his words even in a journal that no one else was supposed to read. The things that he can't bring himself to say (or rather write) even to himself. And I loved the way that he upgraded the word "dislike" to "hate" (like he's basically telling himself to stop pussyfooting around and "tell it like it is") and yet a few lines down he downgrades "terrified" to just "scared" to play down his level of fear. Fascinating looking into Sam's issues all round - and it all rings very true to me.

I really, really liked the way that you suggested that the demons messed with Sam's head by telling him that he was being burdened by trying to hold onto "normal" for both of them. That's really kinda clever. I can see Sam being at the stage of "growing maturity" where he'd half-believe that to be true and then feel totally guilty about even considering it. Dean's really not the only martyr amongst the Brothers Winchester...

And to top it all off... Well, you already know how I feel about Dean's selflessness really being more of a strength to be admired rather than some sort of weakness to be derided or pitied.

Sam's final reflections in the journal were just freakin PERFECT. I so adore Firm!Sam. Hee.

So one very, very happy - nay, ECSTATIC fangirl here!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

[sholio]

YAY! I'm so happy that you liked it. I wanted to do justice to your story, especially since it took me so long to finally write it.

And to top it all off... Well, you already know how I feel about Dean's selflessness really being more of a strength to be admired rather than some sort of weakness to be derided or pitied.

*grin* Well, that was the whole crux of the story, right there -- its purpose for existing. And SO difficult to develop in fic form! I started several other stories (regular written ones, not picture-fics) but I couldn't come up with a way to expressly develop that theme which wouldn't be either ludicrously heavy-handed, or so subtle that it's basically in line with what we see on the show itself. Which led to the idea of having Sam say it directly to the reader...

Hee ... the acupuncture conversation must have been very entertaining, indeed! It was HARD coming up with different ideas to stick in the margins -- I'd originally envisioned the margins having a lot more notes and scribbling of stuff that Sam had found in their Dad's journal or online, but it was harder to brainstorm ideas for THAT than for the whole rest of the story put together!

And "Saint Dean of Winchester" cracked me up when I was writing it, too. *g*

I really am very happy and squee-ful that you liked it so much! *squees*