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Psychic Neal AU, believe it or not
After I finished "season one" of the Psychic Neal AU, I halfassedly wrote more sequel bits, since I already have a vague mental outline for "season two". And then I didn't work on it for a long while, for Reasons. But last night I was idly thinking about it, and I figured out something that had been giving me problems, and all of a sudden I found myself wanting to work on it again.
Namely, I figured out what Keller did to Peter, specifically.
Keller destroyed his memories.
I'll have to go back and see if I wrote anything that specifically conflicts with this, though I don't think I did. Basically, one of my problems with working out the sequel fics is that, while I have a pretty good idea of Neal's psychological issues at this point (similar to his issues in canon re: Kate's death, except with the extra whammy of Keller's psychological messing and the issues with authority/the government/the FBI he already had), and I knew what Neal's overall season "arc" was (resolving Kate's death; trying to protect the other psychic kids) I really couldn't figure out how I wanted to handle Peter's arc and his mental damage. I just had no real clear idea what Keller did to him or how it would manifest long-term. I was thinking PTSD for certain, but I couldn't really think of anything else. I described it as, basically, Keller tearing through Peter's mind and leaving wreckage, but I couldn't quite figure out how that would manifest itself.
But last night I did. It's his memories that Keller took. Or, rather, tore apart, leaving him with no clear idea of what happened when. This is, basically, the part of himself that he gave up, the thing he used to distract Keller so that Keller didn't completely destroy him. It's not that he has complete amnesia, it's just that he has huge holes where he knows things must have happened but doesn't exactly remember them, or doesn't remember them completely. He doesn't remember his wedding to El, for example. He doesn't remember how Neal got caught -- so, basically, most of the first fic in the series is gone from his memory now. (Which is actually what makes Neal realize there's a problem, because Peter says something along the lines of not really remembering "how I caught you", and Neal is like, "You don't remember me saving your life?" But he really doesn't.)
And he's having trouble getting help for it because he's afraid to admit how extensive the problem is. He's in therapy, and he's getting treated for PTSD-like symptoms, but a) nobody besides Neal really understands what Keller can do, or what Keller did, or how he does it, and b) Peter is afraid that if he comes right out and tells anyone, even the therapist, the extent of what he doesn't remember (he doesn't remember most of Quantico, doesn't remember a lot of the cases he's worked on, doesn't remember some of the finer points of the law that he used to know by heart) that he'll lose his job. And it's not just himself he's trying to protect, but also Neal, because right now he is essentially the only thing standing between Neal and the government coverup machine, and if he gets taken out of play, then Neal will probably disappear never to be seen again.
Naturally this means that there are lots of people who do want to see him taken out of play. And he does have allies, like Stark and Hughes, but he's also got lots of people wanting to see him fail. And of course Neal doesn't trust him at all, after everything with Keller.
... gah, now I want to write it. >_>
Namely, I figured out what Keller did to Peter, specifically.
Keller destroyed his memories.
I'll have to go back and see if I wrote anything that specifically conflicts with this, though I don't think I did. Basically, one of my problems with working out the sequel fics is that, while I have a pretty good idea of Neal's psychological issues at this point (similar to his issues in canon re: Kate's death, except with the extra whammy of Keller's psychological messing and the issues with authority/the government/the FBI he already had), and I knew what Neal's overall season "arc" was (resolving Kate's death; trying to protect the other psychic kids) I really couldn't figure out how I wanted to handle Peter's arc and his mental damage. I just had no real clear idea what Keller did to him or how it would manifest long-term. I was thinking PTSD for certain, but I couldn't really think of anything else. I described it as, basically, Keller tearing through Peter's mind and leaving wreckage, but I couldn't quite figure out how that would manifest itself.
But last night I did. It's his memories that Keller took. Or, rather, tore apart, leaving him with no clear idea of what happened when. This is, basically, the part of himself that he gave up, the thing he used to distract Keller so that Keller didn't completely destroy him. It's not that he has complete amnesia, it's just that he has huge holes where he knows things must have happened but doesn't exactly remember them, or doesn't remember them completely. He doesn't remember his wedding to El, for example. He doesn't remember how Neal got caught -- so, basically, most of the first fic in the series is gone from his memory now. (Which is actually what makes Neal realize there's a problem, because Peter says something along the lines of not really remembering "how I caught you", and Neal is like, "You don't remember me saving your life?" But he really doesn't.)
And he's having trouble getting help for it because he's afraid to admit how extensive the problem is. He's in therapy, and he's getting treated for PTSD-like symptoms, but a) nobody besides Neal really understands what Keller can do, or what Keller did, or how he does it, and b) Peter is afraid that if he comes right out and tells anyone, even the therapist, the extent of what he doesn't remember (he doesn't remember most of Quantico, doesn't remember a lot of the cases he's worked on, doesn't remember some of the finer points of the law that he used to know by heart) that he'll lose his job. And it's not just himself he's trying to protect, but also Neal, because right now he is essentially the only thing standing between Neal and the government coverup machine, and if he gets taken out of play, then Neal will probably disappear never to be seen again.
Naturally this means that there are lots of people who do want to see him taken out of play. And he does have allies, like Stark and Hughes, but he's also got lots of people wanting to see him fail. And of course Neal doesn't trust him at all, after everything with Keller.
... gah, now I want to write it. >_>
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Do it.
And yow, poor Peter. Poor... everyone involved in that situation, really. (Now you've also got me wondering if it's a matter of "destroyed" or "took" or "broke into little pieces desperately needing psychic superglue", re: the memories, because in that last case, I could see where additional psychic intervention could actually help. Which would add another layer of tangledy trust issues on, if Neal needs Peter between him and the government and Peter needs his memories back, but Neal might not trust Peter enough to help him and Peter might not trust someone in his brain messing with things because, um, seriously. ...which would also require some way of circumventing the psychic damper, which could easily parallel canon!Neal's slipping the anklet in Point Blank and/or add even more complications in everything.)
(...don't mind me, I'll just be over here, er, developing braintics for your fics.) (But the characters are so screwed up and I have a weak spot!)
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Yesssss, that's basically exactly what I was thinking ... well, not necessarily knitting the memories back together, not quite as such, but at the very least that Neal might be the only person who can, basically, stop the bleeding. Peter is unraveling in "season two", and Neal can do the psychic first aid to help put him back together, but Peter doesn't want Neal in his brain any more than Neal wants to be there.
Also, the psychic damper in "season two" can actually be turned off. Since they had so much more data the second time around, they were able to devise one that works much better than the comparatively crude device they used the first time (roughly analogous to Neal's more streamlined anklet in season two -- "this one chafes less!"). The new device not only gives him less pain (though still not exactly no pain) but it has a deactivation switch that requires a key -- again, paralleling the anklet. The idea is that the Powers That Be have finally realized they have a REAL LIVE PSYCHIC and can use his abilities undercover. Neal is torn between hating the whole idea of being used that way (with reason!) and being cautiously optimistic that it might give him a new range of opportunities for slipping his leash and heading out into the wild blue yonder. There's a whole layer of checks and balances on the use of the key; it sends a signal, and Peter has to file paperwork beforehand to let the monitoring agency know that he's going to be turning it off, and why, and for how long. But it can be done, and yeah, that'll come into play later. :D
... I think too much about this AU. XD
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I subtly and non-obtrusively. encourage you to write this. (Okay, not so subtly. But non-obtrusively! Hopefully.)
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(Anonymous) 2013-08-04 07:48 am (UTC)(link)no subject