![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
And on a more personal note ...
I have a personal LJ elsewhere, but I'm finding myself more and more tempted to move my personal blogging over here.
The main reason is because I know that my personal LJ is read by a number of people that I really *don't* want privy to my innermost thoughts, such as my in-laws and certain old friends and ... you know what I mean, I guess.
The other reason is that I'm just starting to find myself more *comfortable* over here. See, most people in my real-life circle of friends and family don't have a clue about my fannish existence. I started actively hiding it years ago because I had a couple of real-life friends who were very, very negative about the whole idea of fanfic and fannishness in general. I didn't want to have to defend myself constantly and I wanted to keep them as friends, and at that time I was active in various Internet circles in which they played a major part, so I pretty much had to go "underground" in order to avoid notice. Over time it became an ingrained habit. At this point, I think the only person I know in real life who has any idea of the depth of my fannishness is my sister, who also reads and writes fanfic (although not nearly as much as I do) and, at the very least, understands. I can't even begin to imagine explaining it to my husband or my pro-writer friends or any of the other people who frequent my other journal.
This was all fine for a while, because I wasn't really active in any particular fandoms. I read fic, but didn't really write it or participate in discussions. This all changed when I got into SGA last spring. And, for better or worse, it's becoming increasingly important in my life -- I mean, not the show itself, but the social circle associated with it. This is really the most involved that I've been in online activities since I was at the height of my small-press-comics period in '01 and '02. And in the past, I've never really made friends in fandom ... at least not many. I think the only person I'm still in touch with from my earlier forays into fandom is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xparrot -- we just "clicked", I guess. But this time around, I'm getting a lot deeper into the discussions and getting to know a lot more people personally. The more intimate nature of LJ makes it easier, I guess; in the past it was mainly via message boards, discussion groups and occasionally private email. It was a lot more open and impersonal. I think LJ encourages the formation of small social groups rather than the large and less personal ones that were the case over the last ten years or so of Internet fandom. Actually, in a way it's circled back around to the way it was in the really early days, when the discussion groups were a lot more private and it was just a bunch of people who knew each other on a mailing list chatting about the show ...
Anyway -- I digress. I would like to integrate my fannish existence with my real-life existence a little more than is true at the present, but I'm not really sure how to go about it, because I'm well aware that there are people I know in RL who would look down on me if they knew about this. Increasingly, though, the people that I want to spend more time around are the people that I know through fandom, because they know both sides of me -- the fan side, and the pro-writer side.
*grin* Thanks for listening. I know you guys don't get a whole lot of personal stuff from this LJ (and that's on purpose), but I felt like rambling about this, and I certainly can't do it at my other LJ -- so this one seemed to be the right place.
The main reason is because I know that my personal LJ is read by a number of people that I really *don't* want privy to my innermost thoughts, such as my in-laws and certain old friends and ... you know what I mean, I guess.
The other reason is that I'm just starting to find myself more *comfortable* over here. See, most people in my real-life circle of friends and family don't have a clue about my fannish existence. I started actively hiding it years ago because I had a couple of real-life friends who were very, very negative about the whole idea of fanfic and fannishness in general. I didn't want to have to defend myself constantly and I wanted to keep them as friends, and at that time I was active in various Internet circles in which they played a major part, so I pretty much had to go "underground" in order to avoid notice. Over time it became an ingrained habit. At this point, I think the only person I know in real life who has any idea of the depth of my fannishness is my sister, who also reads and writes fanfic (although not nearly as much as I do) and, at the very least, understands. I can't even begin to imagine explaining it to my husband or my pro-writer friends or any of the other people who frequent my other journal.
This was all fine for a while, because I wasn't really active in any particular fandoms. I read fic, but didn't really write it or participate in discussions. This all changed when I got into SGA last spring. And, for better or worse, it's becoming increasingly important in my life -- I mean, not the show itself, but the social circle associated with it. This is really the most involved that I've been in online activities since I was at the height of my small-press-comics period in '01 and '02. And in the past, I've never really made friends in fandom ... at least not many. I think the only person I'm still in touch with from my earlier forays into fandom is
xparrot -- we just "clicked", I guess. But this time around, I'm getting a lot deeper into the discussions and getting to know a lot more people personally. The more intimate nature of LJ makes it easier, I guess; in the past it was mainly via message boards, discussion groups and occasionally private email. It was a lot more open and impersonal. I think LJ encourages the formation of small social groups rather than the large and less personal ones that were the case over the last ten years or so of Internet fandom. Actually, in a way it's circled back around to the way it was in the really early days, when the discussion groups were a lot more private and it was just a bunch of people who knew each other on a mailing list chatting about the show ...Anyway -- I digress. I would like to integrate my fannish existence with my real-life existence a little more than is true at the present, but I'm not really sure how to go about it, because I'm well aware that there are people I know in RL who would look down on me if they knew about this. Increasingly, though, the people that I want to spend more time around are the people that I know through fandom, because they know both sides of me -- the fan side, and the pro-writer side.
*grin* Thanks for listening. I know you guys don't get a whole lot of personal stuff from this LJ (and that's on purpose), but I felt like rambling about this, and I certainly can't do it at my other LJ -- so this one seemed to be the right place.
no subject
no subject
no subject
For my really personal RL stuff I usually use a f-lock on my LJ. I think for me the f-lock is my separation between fandom and real life. My grandparents brother, husband, and sister have my LJ address but they don't have LJ accounts...so it works out rather well.
Basically, this is your LJ I think it's awesome you are feeling more comfortable merging personal stuff into this LJ. I hope it works out and makes things easier. :) Um though you might get people like me commenting on your posts more often than not.
no subject
I feel better just for having vented, though. I probably *will* occasionally discuss personal topics over here from time to time, on those occasions when I'm more comfortable doing so.
no subject
My 2c, for what it's worth! -lis
no subject
no subject
Custom friend groups actually had not occurred to me, so I'm glad you brought it up. I think I'd end up breaking them down to the point where I'd basically be talking to myself in my posts, though, at which point there ceases to actually BE any pint ...
no subject
As for meeting people in your fandoms in real life, the best thing I can think of to recommend is that you try meetup.com. I wish you the best of luck and Brightest Blessings. :-)
no subject
I'm not really that crazy about meeting up with other fans in real life, because I devote enough of my life to the darned show as it is. ;) It's actually good for me, IMHO, to have friends who couldn't care less about fandom, because it gets me *out* of fandom every so often. However, it does mean that it's not something they understand when I talk about it.
no subject
So, I've got the opposite urge!
I'm strangely okay with any random xx person scouting around. Although, if I thought long about it, I might get a little freaked out. I know it sometimes surprises me to see someone pop up and say, "I've been reading all your stuff!" and it makes me wonder how many people are out there that read and don't comment. Just to get an idea of how often my journal is read, know what I mean?
no subject
But in some ways, personal blogs for people in RL is just as scary. I know I get calls from my dad that say "I read your LJ, are you okay?" Well, I vent a lot on LJ but in reality I'm a very happy person so I have to feel bad for making my dad worry...
Wow, sorry, this is a long comment.
no subject
I've been like that since I was little. :)
no subject
no subject
no subject
Like you, I deliberately steer clear of the heavier personal stuff online. Even the personal entries on my other LJ aren't *that* personal. They're more like opinion rambles than angsting and personal life stuff. I'm thinking, though, that I might return the "glacierdust" blog to more of its original purpose, which was a place for me to post pictures and anecdotes about my life in Alaska, and move more of the opinion stuff over here.
no subject
*laughs* I actually have been thinking of starting a personal lj myself, because I have quite a few RL friends and acquaintances who have little interest in or understanding of fanning, and because I haven't done much personal blogging and am reluctant to inflict the dull travails of my everyday life on people who are coming for fic. Though you wouldn't be the first I know, to start out with separate journals only to combine them later...it's a cyclical thing. Or something.
Interesting point about lj recreating the small fan circles of the past - I never really thought of it like that, but I do enjoy the sort of community lj creates, find it a more comfortable online environment than BBS or mailing lists...
no subject
*grin* It's just so nice to finally be actively involved in a fandom again where I'm not practically the only one who *is* into those things! ^^
I'm definitely with you on being more comfortable in the smaller, more intimate setting of LJ chatting rather than a more, well, public forum? I imagine that a lot of the intimacy is just perceptual, but it *does* take me back to my really early Internet experiences, when I was involved in a couple of really small mailing lists where everybody knew everybody else and we'd spend as much time talking about our personal lives as whatever the topic was supposed to be.
In fact, LJ is a lot of what has drawn me back into online activities in a way that I haven't really been since college. Message boarding was fun but didn't really scratch my social itch in the way that some of the older mailing lists used to. Now with LJ, I've been sucked right back in.
no subject
Even though I'm not as into fandom right now as I have been, almost everyone on my friends' list are people I have met and befriended through my various fandoms. There is an intimacy that comes with being physically distant, yet writing. I compare to the letters people used to write in the 18th and 19th centuries (and earlier). Now, instead of penpals that we become bosom buddies with, we have LJ friends.
no subject
That's a wonderful way to look at it, I think. And quite a good analogy. There are a lot of friendships (and romances, too) that are formed and cemented through the Internet.
There's a lot of back-and-forth, too, because there are people I became friends with when I lived in a different state, and now keep in touch with via Internet and LJ. And there are people I became friends with via the Internet, and then met in real life...
Though when they squee over going to a "Knit Lit" book signing and talk about their circle of friends around the world on knitting lists and whatnot, I get peeved that their "fandom" is publicly acceptable, while mine, being media related, is not.
Isn't it strange and sad? It's perfectly socially acceptable to get fannish about, say, football, or jewelry making, but if it's based on an SF TV show, it gets one looked down upon...
no subject
So I know how you feel and I know that such a choice comes with other consequences none of us like to acknowledge, but don't be ashamed of who yu are. If others don't understand it, that's their problem.
no subject
no subject
This particular foray into fandom has been a MUCH more positive thing than some of the experiences I've had in the past. I talked on the sgahc list a little bit about the group of insanely clique-ish Star Trek fans who scared me off Star Trek fandom for good. This time around, I'm really enjoying myself and I think that it *has* helped to kick-start my creativity on original projects. That's the main problem that a lot of my pro-writer friends have with fanfic, that they believe it directs your creative energy away from your personal projects. In my case, it's helped me develop as a better writer and made me a lot more enthusiastic about working on novels again. And the writers' community is just a *fantastic* idea -- thank you so much for starting it!
no subject
My mil told me that she thought fanfiction was just like people learning to play music by following in the styles of the greats. A person shoudln't learn by starting out with what doesn't work, but by practicing on something that does. That it's a learning process. I can't believe how much I've improved because of fanfiction. :)
no subject
And that's fantastic; I really admire that. My sister is that way too, and it's something I think is awesome about her. Me ... I've always been more comfortable keeping my interests more private. For example, I prefer listening to music with headphones than out loud. My husband's actually asked me if I could NOT use the headphones because it makes it difficult to talk to me when the music's on, but I'd really rather not, because there are some rather embarrassing things in my iTunes shuffle -- Japanese soundtrack songs, Weird Al and various other stuff that I'd really rather NOT come up if I'm not the only one listening, even if the only other person in the room is my husband. It's just too damn embarrassing to try to justify some of the more schlocky music I like listening to...
Your MIL's example is great -- I've sometimes thought of it in terms of artists learning to paint by studying Master paintings. No one learns in isolation.
no subject
My playlist has all the things you mentioned, LOL
no subject
So, six years ago, when I was about a year into the M7 fandom (I'd posted about ten stories on ff.net (all at once) about six months prior), I let this one girl I'd been talking to over the internet know that I was going to go on vacation and wanted to see a rodeo. She immediately said, "come visit me; I'll hook you up." So, terrified and wondering if this was the stupidest thing I've ever done (because she lived in IDAHO, and who the hell goes to Idaho on vacation?) and lying to my law school friends and family by saying she was someone I knew "from college", I did. I rented a car in Seattle, drove for countless hours to the middle of nowhere (and thinking "what the hell am I doing?" the whole time)...and met this 5'2" redhead with a thick Boston accent and the funniest sense of humor I'd ever known. And it was like we'd known each other forever.
Not long after that, I met some others in the fandom, and, six years later, I can confirm that my three best friends in the entire world -- people I love as much as my own family -- are all people I met over the internet. I see them all the time -- vacations, visits, even holidays -- and talk to them daily both over email and on the phone. I honestly don't know what I would do without them, at this point.
As to how I reached this point, the answer really is -- because I met them. As great as this medium is, there is nothing greater than meeting someone and then staying up talking until 4:00 am in the morning and not noticing that you've done it. I get no sleep on my vacations with these people. LOL!
However, it took a few more years before I could admit that I'd made these connections to my family and my "other" friends. First and foremost, my parents know my friends only as people I met in a "on-line writer's group." They still kinda think that, but...having now met them all, they know how incredible they all are, and their entire perspective changed on whether it is "weird" or not. They no longer care. Not to mention that, as the internet became more pervasive, it became less strange to meet people that way. Plus, I could point to the fact that my dad has made many friends in the scientific community over the years that he's never met -- people we used to stay with on vacations -- and my mother knows people in the arts the same way. Then there's things like Match and eHarmony, where more and more people are meeting their boyfriends and future spouses. Plus, choral groups, artist communities, hiking groups, etc...there's too many ways to meet people with "like interests" over the net for it to seem odd anymore. Sure, there's still the newsmedia's love of internet predators, but there's also Time's "You" being the person of the year. To my mind, anyone who still think's it's weird or strange to meet people over the net, are living in a different age. They're need to wake up. You say there are RL people who would look down on you? Then they're out of touch with the way the world works.
Way I see it, everyone has their interests, and you connect on those interests. It's why you're friends -- doesn't matter whether it's fic, or singing, or school connections, or work. Friends are the people you can talk to for hours and never know the time has passed. Who really cares what you talk about?
Anyway, I just wanted to say that.
no subject
And I've had those sorts of experiences before, just not through fandom, but through small-press comics instead. One of my best friends in the world is someone I met on a comics message board. In fact, when I was deep in the small-press scene I'd meet people on comics boards and then hook up with them at conventions (wondering all the while if I was doing something insanely stupid) and I ended up having a lot of wonderful experiences and making a lot of friendships that way -- people I still stay in touch with despite being in Alaska now. For a long time, most of my social life revolved around the comics convention circuit and the people I knew there. Since I've left, it's basically caused those friendships to shake down and only the really strong ones are left. Ironically, that's where I got my extreme reluctance to talk about fannish stuff with the people I know in real life -- because most of my comics friends were very, very anti-fanfic and I ended up not wanting to talk about it because I didn't want an argument.
I'm with you on needing that face-to-face contact to really cement things. I can definitely maintain friendships long-distance (have done so all my life, in fact, growing up in Alaska and all) but there's a lot that you don't know about how you're going to get along with that person until you meet them face-to-face. So far, I have yet to really like someone online and *not* like them in person -- although I have had the opposite experience: another of my best friends is someone I used to butt heads with online; I thought she was an opinionated, stubborn jerk, basically. Then I actually met her in person and discovered that she's every bit opinionated, stubborn and eccentric as I'd always thought -- as well as a fascinating conversationalist and a really awesome person that I have a ton of things in common with. So you never really know. There are a lot of people I know online now (most of whom I've only met within the last year) that I'd absolutely LOVE to meet in person. Of course, I'm stuck in frikkin' Alaska ...
no subject
The only family that reads my journal, or at least has access to it, is my husband. He's all too well aware of my fanfiction, and respects my privacy with it. He's dabbled in it a touch, but claims he doesn't have the concentration for it. He's more into things like Neverwinter, making scenes and stories and games. My dad, he knows I write, in periphery. My grandmother knows I write, and I'll tell her fanfics, and she's clueless. No clue what my new-ish stepmother thinks. And that's pretty much my family. Inlaws, yeah, right. The kids, well, they're young.
My livejournal *is* my journal, and all of my ego-driven, depressed ravings are on it, my fears (tons of them), my hopes, goals, anger issues, family news, all of it. I warn people when they want to friend me that, yes, I'll go fannish on it, but it's really my journal (as a result I don't cut and paste). I find I keep an online one more readily than physically writing one (which kinda sucks, cause I've got these great leather journals half-used). I've had this one since...2002. Didn't write in it as much, then. Still used mostly store-bought.
All this is meaning to say, is I have very, very few people around, and most of them are online. I was surprised to see I let something like seventeen people read my journal, I wasn't aware I had that many. I'm not even sure why they are there, I don't post fanfics, I might comment on a show in detail if I really like it, but usually I just say if I really liked it. I talk about my life, my obsessions. Maybe I'm just another name on their list so *they* feel like they have a lot of people around. Glad to be of service. As it stands, this little internet community is my social life.
If you want to share more personal details with us, please do so. No reason why you can't cut and paste from one journal to the other, and no reason why you can't let yourself gravitate to the one that gives you the most satisfaction. That's human nature. I say update the other as you see fit, and focus on the one you love.
Kam :)
no subject
It's actually surprised me to find how much of my social life has come to revolve around the Internet, because I had always thought of myself as more of a face-to-face kind of person, but anymore it just isn't so. I don't really like talking on the phone (though I stay in touch with my family that way) so it basically comes down to people who live in my town, or the Internet as far as social interaction.
I appreciate that it wouldn't be a turn-off to get a little more of my personal life in this journal. And actually you've got a good point that there's no reason why it has to be all-or-nothing -- why I can't just post the same thing in both journals, or sometimes one and sometimes the other, depending on where I'm most comfortable. Thank you! :)
no subject
no subject
While I don't know if I would go around advertising my involvement in fandom, I don't think I would take great pains to hide it either. This partly because so many of my friends are fans and because in area where I live there are a number of sci-fi fans in high-powered jobs in the greater Washington DC area. (including most of the people out at NASA I would bet) It is a part of who I am. And while my mother and sister my think I am a bit nuts - I think they fully understand that this is part of who I am and how much I enjoy meeting up with people at cons or the like. And for them it means I have someone to talk to about my passion and I won't the boring them with it.
no subject
no subject
I shared my interest with a friend who is now very involved with the fandom. That might be a fluke. The people who you wish to take into your confidence...well, I do hope that they are happy that you are happy, that they will find joy in reading your wonderful stories. It's a risk you take when you open yourself up like that, but, like with my good friend, it could be the beginning of a wonderful shared experience.
We sometimes behave as if we are ashamed of our deep interest in a silly TV show. But it's a hobby as valid and engaging as any other!
no subject
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2007-01-21 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)I just wanted to say that I've been reading through your SGA fanfic and really enjoying it - and finding, through your recs, this whole body of gen, team-based and friendship-focused fic.
- Helen
no subject
That's me; and I would say something, yk, profound, but I've got small kids to get out the door.
- Helen
no subject
no subject
Sometimes it seems as if all that's out there is slash, but I've been thrilled to find tons of good gen in this fandom.
LJ and personal stuff, etc.
(1) Protecting the privacy of my children. So, I don't say negative or embarassing things about them in public spaces on-line. There's also a tiny bit of fear of stalkers in this, but not much.
(2) Not getting myself fired: I don't bash my employer on LJ (easy not to do, since I like it quite a bit).
(3) Protecting the privacy of others. So, I don't talk much about IRL friends, or use the names of people who aren't public about their real identities on LJ.
(4) Not saying too much about myself which would put fannish people off. This is hard to do; most people I know IRL know how I parent, the sort of belief system I hold and how that affects my life, the details of my education. But esp. in comments I don't say much about these aspects of my life because, out of context, I think they don't represent me well - or, more, I think the common view of 'someone who does X' is a bit different from how I actually am. And yet it's hard for me to talk without revealing certain things.
(5) Not letting my first name and last name appear together. I don't want professional contacts to google my first and last name and come across my fanfic *first*.
My biggest issue WRT LJ right now is, how do I use it both as a place to discuss the fic of others critically (the main reason I got onto LJ in the first place) *and* as a space for interacting with other people in fandom?
Most people I know IRL know about my fic writing (though I am happy that few have read it - I don't want people reading too much into my smarm addiction, or judging my writing ability too harshly). I haven't felt especially judged - I've made too many other decisions they're busy judging, if they are so inclined (an advantage of being a parent! Everything I do is wrong to someone!)
- Helen