sholio: (Whine)
Sholio ([personal profile] sholio) wrote2008-12-22 02:44 pm
Entry tags:

I probably shouldn't post this, but I'm trying to work a lot of this out in my own head.

I've seen rumors that the last two episodes of SGA have been leaked. (My God, what is with the episode leaks for that show, anyway?)

And ... I really don't care. The last time advance episodes were leaked, I just about drove myself crazy trying to find places to download them, but this time, I'm just not interested. I'm not really sure if I'm going to be watching those two eps when they finally air, either.

It's the weirdest thing; over the last few weeks, and especially this past week, it's like all the reasons that people keep giving for why the show isn't worth watching have snowballed until a switch flipped over, and I saw. And that was it -- the show and its characters aren't in my head anymore. They no longer give me pleasure.


And I'm bitter about it. I'm bitter as hell about it, and I'm trying really hard not to be, because it's nobody's fault, really, except maybe mine for not realizing that I'd be this affected by other people's disenchantment with the show.

I never wanted to cut myself off from fandom. I never even wanted to filter my reading and posting so that I was only interacting with the relatively small number of fen who were still enjoying the show. But really, reading fan reactions and fic for the last few months has been like having someone hovering over my shoulder and constantly jogging my elbow to point out the show's less attractive qualities. And the more it's pointed out, the more times it's pointed out, the more I see it, until it's finally gotten to the point where it's all I see. I can't really think of any way to phrase this that doesn't sound like I'm blaming fandom for my own loss of interest in the show, which is something that I'm really, really trying not to do. Everyone else is entitled to dislike it as much as they want, for perfectly valid reasons. I should have disengaged sooner. I didn't, and it cost me something I valued, and I have only myself to blame now.

I'm not one of those people who can stay in a fandom if I don't like canon. For me, it's all about love of canon -- wanting to extend and expand and build on it. Canon's the foundation. And without a love of canon, there's no way that I can make myself be interested and invested in the fic.

I really had to struggle to finish the Camelot story, because during the time I was working on it, it was getting harder and harder to slip into the characters' voices. There were parts of it that I really enjoyed writing, and a few parts of it that genuinely made me feel for them like I used to. But towards the end, I just wanted to get it done out of completeness, because I didn't want to have yet another unfinished WIP hanging over my head for all eternity, especially one that was so silly and pointless. I turned comments off on the story because I didn't want to hear anything about it, good or bad. I just didn't want to think about it anymore. But people are commenting in other threads anyway, so what the hell; I went and turned comments back on, because at least that'll keep them together in one place. I don't have comment notifications turned on, though, and I probably won't respond if people do comment on it. I don't really think I've got the mental oomph for it right now.

I don't want to be angry at the fandom, though, because being in this fandom has really been a wonderful experience for me in so many ways. I've met a lot of fantastic people; I've made some really good friends that I'd never have known otherwise. For that alone, it would all have been worth it. I'm not even sure to what extent I'm going to move out of the fandom. I know that right now, I want very little to do with the show and have little interest in its fic, but most of my f'list is still SGA-centric and I'm certainly not going to mass-defriend and stalk off in a huff. I've swung in and out of fandoms before, and it's always possible that I'll be lured back. My fan obsession with SGA has been longer, deeper and just different from my other fannish experiences, so I really have no idea how it's going to fall out in the long run.

Needless to say, if you're here for SGA stuff, there probably won't be much to see. There's one more story that's already written; it's a Secret Santa story for [livejournal.com profile] sheppard_hc that will be posted on the 24th when that particular fic exchange is unveiled. Beyond that, I've apologetically backed out of the other ficathons that I'd signed up for, because what I really just need is to have some breathing room and fan on other things for a while. I certainly won't take it personally if you defriend me; every day is defriending amnesty around here, and I know a lot of people are just here for the SGA. And I truly don't know where I'll be going with this fandom in the future. I already miss it, damn it. I've been making up adventures for these people for almost three years; it's freaking weird to not hear their voices anymore. This is going to sound insanely stupid, but I've actually had trouble falling asleep the last couple of nights. I always spin myself little stories to fall asleep at night, and for the last three years it's been mostly SGA -- but the familiar sorts of stories don't work anymore, because I don't enjoy them. It's strange and disconcerting.

I'm not posting this for sympathy or to have people try to talk me back into the fandom. I'm just working this stuff out "aloud" and, well, explaining why you might not want to leave me on your f'list if you're just here for the SGA stuff. I don't expect there will be negative posts about the show in particular, because I just don't work that way; I've already found something new to squee about, and I'd rather write those sorts of posts than this sort.

[identity profile] klostes.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not one of those people who can stay in a fandom if I don't like canon. For me, it's all about love of canon -- wanting to extend and expand and build on it. Canon's the foundation. And without a love of canon, there's no way that I can make myself be interested and invested in the fic.

YES. EXACTLY! Canon has to work for me, or the show/fandom itself won't. I'm sorry that the show has lost its luster for you; it really sucks when there's an aggregate of other people's comments and opinions that suddenly overwhelm your own ability to just let go and enjoy.

For what it's worth, I've disengaged from the online Supernatural fandom in large part for that same reason. Yes, the show has issues, but I find that I can enjoy it immensely if I just back off and keep my fannish contact to a minimum. And SPN fandom really doesn't seem to go the same places as the show itself winds up going; I've give up entirely reading anything that's set in the current season and trying to explain things in the show.

So, yeah, between my negative experiences with the showrunners a la Carson, and negative experiences with fen and fandom, it's hard to find a place where I can indulge my fannish soul. But there are a few of us out here in the borderlands, so you won't be alone!
ext_1981: (SGA-Sheppard rain)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I find it interesting how so many people seem to be in fandom (regardless of the specific fandom) for the fic and not the canon, because that's ... totally not how my mind works, that's for sure. Obviously their way of fanning is just as valid as mine, but for me it starts and ends with love of canon, even if the canon itself is flawed to begin with.

I can certainly see how SPN fandom would be a difficult one. I've generally steered clear of it myself as much as possible, though my own love affair with SPN was kind of short-lived and I guess I've been as guilty of picking apart the show as anyone else.

I guess part of the problem with fandom is that everyone's there for slightly different reasons, and sometimes it's hard to reconcile them!

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ext_2207: (Default)

[identity profile] abyssinia4077.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
*nods*
I was wondering about that sentence in the email you sent me.

I've spent the last...bit over a year desperately wanting to re-find the Atlantis glee I had for a while there (and oddly my last fic and what looks to be my next one are SG-1/SGA hybrids taking place in the Pegasus galaxy so...maybe I'm not all lost?) and I just can't find it. Not quite what's happened with you, but I think I understand. Maybe.

And fandom is *such* a complicated entity, you know?

But I'm glad you found a new shiny to make you happy!
ext_1981: (SPN-dean dorky)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I was wondering about that sentence in the email you sent me.

Yeah, and I'm really having trouble with the beta because of it; I keep starting to work on it and then stalling out. I really *want* to, but it's hard right now.

New fandoms are shiny and fun. :) I do kinda hope I'll be able to wander back into SGA eventually, because I have really enjoyed myself. I've been in and out of enough fandoms to know that life goes on regardless, though, and there's always something new around the bend to squee about.

[identity profile] perspi.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
This is very thinky, and I am finding much of your other posts very thinky and enjoyable, so I think I'll stick around. :)

I am rather disengaged from both my fandoms at the moment, but more for RL reasons than anything, although my House fandom writing is NIL because they've completely stopped talking to me. I haven't had your experience, that I dislike the canon, but I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I DO appreciate hearing your thinky thoughts, so please do keep posting! And I like hearing about your new fannishness, even if I don't always comment...
ext_1981: (Lucky - WTF?)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww, thank you. ^_^ Naturally, anyone who wants to stick around is welcome to do so, also! And there's no obligation to comment on anything; I am an incorrigible lurker, myself...

[identity profile] dovil.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I've already found something new to squee about,

That's fantastic! :D
ext_1981: (Whaleverse-pretty Rodney)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I am so in love with my new shiny (Wiseguy) that it makes me laugh. I should do a proper pimping post for it!
ext_3572: (Default)

[identity profile] xparrot.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs*

I've never actually swung entirely out of a fandom, I don't think; for me it's always a slow fade. The more violent engagements still keep me engaged, so even when I'm negatively fanning, I'm still a fan. And SGA has drawn me back, these past few weeks; the fandom still has much to offer me, and I've made my peace with the canon.

But I've 'lost' a lot of fandoms over time, had characters stop speaking to me; sometimes they later speak up again, often they don't. And it's always a melancholy feeling - but there are always new series, always new fandoms out there! Better to be into what you enjoy than waste too much time trying to enjoy something when you don't.

(--Also, for me, I've found that losing fandom characters sometimes can allow my own original characters to move back in to my brainspace; while original stuff and fanfic are decidedly different for me, and don't always interfere, there is a certain element of limited resources...)

I hope I didn't play too big a role in your disenchantment with SGA; I fear I might have, and I can only offer my sincere apologies if so.

On the other hand - all good things, as they say, and you might find you just need distance - that after a while, you might not write fic again, but you'll be able to rewatch episodes and find the magic still there, or reread your favorite stories. (And the finale isn't going to break your heart by being the ending - don't feel obliged to watch it when it airs; you might wait and find that a time comes that you do want to watch the show again, and then you'll have new eps you've never seen!) (I do wonder if, being as attached to canon as you are, some of your disenchantment isn't only the general negativity in the fandom, but also a subconscious defense mechanism - you're leaving them before they can leave you?)

In the meantime - enjoy Wiseguy and the rest! I wish I had something to rec you (Merlin is awful fun in a totally cheezetastic way...have you seen Hustle? Not quite enough there for fanning, but great stuff, and a lot of cute made-family...)
ext_1981: (Art-red blue leaves)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Wiseguy is doing nicely for me right now as far as fanning goes; it's really a wonderfully well-written show -- which I think actually was another of the nails in SGA's coffin for me, because given how disillusioned I was becoming with the fandom and, through it, the show, then to switch to a show where the character arcs actually make sense and the emotional fallout of everything that happens is dealt with ... it really threw a stark light on SGA's shallow and inconsistent characterization.

Merlin really doesn't interest me, to be honest; I think I'm looking for a little more from a show right now than it could deliver, though I might be more into pure escapism in the future and have filed it aside for whenever my tastes inevitably swing back to the less intellectual end of the spectrum. *g* Naye has recced Hustle, too, and I'm planning on tracking it down ... plus I have the rest of Due South to get through! So I'm not really lacking things to watch.

I do wander in and out of fandoms a lot (as you know). Just being in SGA fandom for two and a half years is a big deal for me. I was just kinda wish I'd been able to get through the last two episodes before falling out with it. But I don't know how things will go -- it's always possible that if I leave the show alone for a while, I'll be able to come back and engage with it again.

And like you've said, original fiction *does* suffer when one is deeply engaged in a fandom. It might be a good opportunity to focus on some of my poor neglected original stories again ...

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[identity profile] argosy.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Go ahead and blame fandom. It's been really tough to listen to this stuff over and over again. I totally see where you're coming from, but I'm not ready to give it up.

However, I will tell you that fandom is going to rediscover its love for the show en masse with the airing of "Vegas." (I would give it a watch, if I were you. Maybe it might help? eta: I should add that it did wonders for my love of the show and season. Like miraculous amounts, so.) I really foresee huge outpourings of love and squee and fic. I hope that someday you'll get your love back for this show, because I will miss you and your stories and your thoughts like crazy. :( Well, never say never.
ext_1981: (BH-Mitchell smile)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Mmmm. I guess we'll see. I'm glad you got your squee back. :) I'm trying very hard not to be bitter and angry because, well, it doesn't do me any good and it's completely true that if I'm that influenced by other people's opinions, I ought to make it my own responsibility to stay away from them. It just got to the point where I wasn't getting enough enjoyment out of it to be worth fighting back against the tide anymore.

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[identity profile] lavvyan.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I always spin myself little stories to fall asleep at night

I do that very same thing, and yeah, it's been mostly SGA for some time. Still is; I think I fell out of love with canon months ago, but I still love the characters and those past seasons I enjoyed. If that makes any sense. In any case, I hope you'll find something else to spin your tales around. Perhaps that new squee-worthy thing of yours will work.
ext_1981: (Sheppard moody)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I just can't relate to falling out of love with canon and still enjoying the characters. For me, the two go hand in hand (so to speak). But I'm happy with my new fandom, and who knows, maybe I'll wander back to SGA eventually. It's very strange not having them in my head, and lord, I sure do have one hell of a lot of SGA icons. *g*

[identity profile] calcitrix.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I hope your new fandom eventually makes you as gleeful as SGA did.

I had the same thing happen to me in my last fandom as you're going through now. Character was killed off, fans split and got nasty, company even stopped publishing the comic and a new one did a re-boot, but I walked away from it all and even left an incomplete fic out there. I went through several days of restlessness and feeling dislocated. SGA was my replacement; vicious cycle, sigh. But I kept some friends from it and it's been long enough (gosh, like, two years) and I've been revisiting the fandom a bit. I totally understand where you're coming from, and while we haven't been close fan-friends, I think I'm just saying that enough of us have had similar experiences that people won't judge you harshly for it.

I've enjoyed your contributions to the fandom, and maybe another fandom will overlap in the future, who knows?

ext_1981: (Ronon in Runner)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :) I'm feeling a lot more confident, right now, in my ability to eventually come back to the fandom, so who knows?

And what you said about previous fandoms -- I've had fandom breakups that were *way* worse than what's going on with SGA. I still haven't forgiven DC for what they did to some of my favorite characters a few years ago.

[identity profile] sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I am very, very glad that you have something new to squee about! I'm sorry that you feel like fandom left you - I can completely see where you're coming from, and I agree that there's been a lot of negativity. What's sad, or possibly ironic, is that Vegas airs in 10 days or so and is one of the best episodes I've ever seen. It rejuvenated me, to see it, but I couldn't help thinking, as I watched, dudes, could we not have had this awesome earlier? ♥
ext_1981: (Autumn road)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm in a very weird place right now WRT fandom, because all the comments to this post, and other things, are making me feel warmer and friendlier towards the show and fandom than I have in a while. I've been going through the motions for some time now, trying to *make* myself be happy about it while not really feeling it, and I'm amazed how much better and less frustrated it made me feel to just talk about it. By trying to leave fandom, I might have just sucked myself right back in ...

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aelfgyfu_mead: (Rodney&Carson)

[personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead 2008-12-22 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope I wasn't part of the cause. I know I've been increasingly disenchanted myself and hope I haven't shot my mouth off too much.

I stay away from Doctor Who fandom almost entirely because I realized it could hurt my love for the show, especially since it came back. I complain sometimes, but mostly I want to squee. We got it back. What could be better?

I hope you'll find your love for it again. For a bit, I grew apart from SG-1 (why do I talk about fandoms as if I'm dating them?). I argued with people over and over during s9, insisting it was still good and the mistakes weren't all that big, but s10 I found I could mostly see the flaws. I wasn't sure how much was hearing other fans complain and how much was just me, not getting what I wanted.

The good news is that I can go home again. I don't check for new fic as often as I used to, but I still check and read it; I'm careful to avoid anything that looks like it might bash characters (or give me character death or rape, which I do not want to read). I've found a lot of stories that make me happy again. I keep up with the rewatch community even though I don't have time to rewatch the episodes; I enjoy joining in the squee and the jokes. I've been away writing in other fandoms, but I find I have a renewed interest in some SG-1 fragments i started a long time ago, and I really plan to come back to them (if I ever get through this crazy Primeval story--yes, I am totally a canon girl except for Primeval, where I'm writing a fix-it for the first time in my life).

If SGA doesn't make you happy anymore, then by all means, let it go. I'm interested in a lot of your other posts, so I plan to stick around. If you go back later, you may find it makes you happy again. Otherwise, I hope you find a lot of other things that do!
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:15 pm (UTC)(link)
It's certainly not you specifically; it's a lot of factors. And today I feel like I *can* swing back around to loving the show; I just need a little time away from it and fandom first, I think.

[identity profile] tarzanic.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry to hear SGA has lost its sheen for you. To be honest, it has for me too. That's okay though. Things change. I'm glad you've found new shiny squee! I've found your other posts quite interesting, so I plan to stick around.

ETA: Sorry for the double post. I had an odd LJ error for a sec.
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, things change, and I think through this post and various emails I've managed to work out a lot of my feelings towards the show. I'm glad you'll stick around. :)

[identity profile] blucola.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I am one of the people who was brought into the SGA fandom through the fan fiction. I'd actually resisted getting involved with another show, since I loved Farscape so much and it was such a shock when it was cancelled. I loved SGA before I loved SG1, as a matter of fact, despite Ben Browder being part of SG1! But I have really gotten attached to SGA, I don't actually have much that I don't like about the show. And I have had the same difficulty as you, reading posts picking apart the show and then trying to keep negative opinions of others from coloring my own.

It's gotten to the point where I pull right out of a post once it starts into a hateful direction. I feel as if people have turned on what they loved out of spite and I don't need that, I've got enough to worry about on my own.
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I really don't want to be bitter towards other people for their negativity. They're entitled to that, especially if it helps them emotionally deal with the cancellation; I have no desire to say "don't do that" to anyone. But ... it's really not how I fan, and I'm learning that I'm more affected by that sort of thing than I realized, so I have to avoid it. It's been relatively slight in this fandom up until the last few months, and I guess I just didn't realize in time that I needed to adjust my fanning style to cope.

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[identity profile] gnine.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
*huggles* So sad to hear how your SGA squee has slipped away, but so happy for you that you've found new squee. Being a fandom butterfly myself, I see "three years" and I'm floored, but obviously, it's different for everyone. And SGA itself is maybe different somewhat too. (The fact that Neechan and I have made it several months past the year mark kinda scares me...)

We'll so very miss your contributions to SGA, but at the same time, I look forward to (and maybe dread a little ^_-) what new fandoms you'll explore, expound on, write for and thus, consequently quite probably drag us into ^_-.

Also, on a total side note:
I always spin myself little stories to fall asleep at night,

I do the exact same thing...often featuring copious amounts of h/c...no surprise there, ne? ^_-

And on your new squee note, you're the second (or maybe third) person in the last year or so on my flist who's been into Wiseguy...must say, I'm becoming intrigued...

*big big huggles*
ext_1981: (Art-red blue leaves)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Other people are into Wiseguy? *perks up* I've already got some fic ideas ... this show is very seductive!

I do the exact same thing...often featuring copious amounts of h/c...no surprise there, ne? ^_-

It's nice to know I'm not the only one! I tend to test-drive fic ideas that way ... and indulge in some of the things that I would never dream of writing as an actual story.

I'm feeling much better today. I think I'm just going to take a break from fandom and the show, but I feel more confident of my ability to come back in the new year.

[identity profile] tabby333.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I was sad to see the SGA fandom start to turn on itself last year and to see folks drifting away as well. Then SGA was cancelled and that saddened me more. I suppose all fandoms die, and I'm sad every time. I do still enjoy bits of SGA and I'll wait to see those until the end. I can still enjoy the fanfic as well and turn a deaf ear to the tinniness of some of the canon.

Wiseguy? Huh. Glad you're enjoying it. Perhaps you'll like Merlin when that comes your way as well.
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
We'll see ... I feel better about fandom today, and perhaps it's just that I need to take a break and come back later to look at canon with fresh eyes.
ext_150: (Default)

[identity profile] kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm definitely the fandom before canon type. My first fanfic fandom was Vampire Chronicles, which I specifically sought out because the latter books were so horrid. And the online fandom I found was pretty much comprised entirely of people who had once loved the books, still loved the characters, but had been burnt by Anne Rice's anti-fandom stuff and by later books.
ext_1981: (SGA)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I remember that about you! It's really an interesting thing for me, because I fan in a totally different way. I think this has a lot to do with me writing original fiction, and being invested in that at least as much as I am in fanfic; the stories that I generally tell in fanfic are those that *couldn't* be told as original stories, whereas everything else gets poured into my original writing. Obviously, that's not the only way to do it -- it's just the way that my brain works. Hence losing interest in canon means losing the fandom as well.
ext_2027: (Default)

[identity profile] astridv.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm very sad to see you go. Like I said before, it's our loss. And I'm with argosy... in my humble opinion it's not unreasonable to blame fandom - those fen that didn't tire to export their hate to nearly every thread on LJ, every other thread on gateworld, the noticeboard and pretty much everywhere else, making sure there was no avoiding it for those of us who didn't want to hear it. It's driving away people who's writing I've come to love and who's views I've enjoyed reading, and I'm bitter as hell. I still love the show like crazy though, I think largely because I tuned that stuff out in time, and I'm glad for that because that show does things for my muse I've never experienced before and I don't want to lose that. SGA has flaws, of course it does, but there's so much more to it than the flaws... the things that inspired this amazing body of fanwork in the first place. (I never understand why, amidst all the criticizing, we can't give the canon writers some credit for creating the mythology and those characters in the first place.)

Who knows, maybe you'll revisit this fandom in the future. I'm not totally giving up hope. In any case, thank you so much for your contributions. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed your writing.

[identity profile] wildcat88.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Word.

[identity profile] renisanz.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I totally understand where you're coming from. I've had a hard time writing fic after everything that happened with and on the show. I've been enjoying your posts about Wise Guy, so I think I'll keep you around a while longer. ;)
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you're sticking around! I need to do some more squee for Wiseguy. :)

[identity profile] wildcat88.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
*big squishy hug*

Your fics are part of what drew me to full-fledged fandom participation, and I shall miss you terribly. I understand about the negativity and how draining it can be. I hope you'll find your squee again one day. I am delighted you found Wiseguy. I enjoyed watching it when it first aired.
ext_1981: (Autumn road)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs you back* That icon, OMG ...

Like I said in some of the comments above, I'm feeling a lot more "live and let live" towards the rest of fandom than I was earlier. I think -- I hope -- that it'll be enough for me to simply stay away from it for a little while, perhaps dipping my toe in for fic now and again, and eventually I'll feel like coming back.

[identity profile] darkrosetiger.livejournal.com 2008-12-22 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry. It sucks all the way around.

For me, it's less sucky than it might otherwise be, just because I read fic in the fandom before I'd seen a single episode. I started from the premise that much of the fanwork being done was better than what was being produced in canon. Right now, I just want it to be over so that the show's writers will (mostly) stop fucking it up, and leave it to those of us who care about it.

I'm also coming out of writing RPF primarily for two people who may not have even met in real life--and before that, HP fandom during the long gap between GoF and OotP, when there was no new canon. I tend to view canon as a place to take off from more than anything else.

I'll still be reading your LJ, though, because you're interesting. So there. :)
ext_1981: (Rodney Katie cactus)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs you* You're kind of awesome, so I'm glad you'll be sticking around. :) I don't know how far I'll actually manage to *get* from the fandom; I'm feeling a lot more "live and let live" after venting yesterday, and I think I might just need a break to let myself decompress from all the intense emotions before coming back. It doesn't help that the holiday season is full of intense emotions all by itself; I think some of that is spilling over into fandom for me right now, and it's just getting knotted up into a package I can't properly deal with.

Your Christmas icon makes me grin. :D

[identity profile] bramble-rose.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
*nods* I almost feel grateful to tptb for destroying SGA so spectacularly, because they really shortened my mourning period. While I still love the characters, I much prefer how fandom's taking care of them vs the jerks that actually own them. My new shiny is bbc's Merlin :-)
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Lots of people are going over to Merlin, it seems. I don't know ... I've peeked at clips and a vid or two, but it doesn't seem to be my thing. I'm happy you have a new shiny, though. :D

[identity profile] live-brave.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think it's a bad thing to let a fandom go. I think a lot of people have been separating themselves from SGA lately for one reason or another, myself included. That doesn't mean that we won't go back to it at some point, if the mood strikes, just that something else is more intriguing at the moment. Variation - it is good for the soul. :D

And I think we can all sympathize over the soul-sucking negativity that's taken root in the SGA fandom. :( Some people just aren't happy unless there's something to complain about. But I will miss your wonderful SGA fics; I hope you continue writing and will continue to share your fics whatever the fandom might be!
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :)

I think I really just need a *break*. It may be that after dallying with Wiseguy for a while, I'll come back refreshed and ready to dive back into SGA!
naye: the going merry go on blue waters with the words "follow your dreams" (dreamship)

[personal profile] naye 2008-12-23 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs tight*

You know what's weird? I ranted a variation of this exact rant at [livejournal.com profile] xparrot and [livejournal.com profile] gnine yesterday. Probably as you were thinking of writing this. Though I've been drifting for a while, and I also got instant therapy that allowed me to kind of swing back into at least realizing that I do love chunks of the show - I just haven't seen much of what I love for this past season, and fandom has been... well. You know. The kind of fandom I can't really relate to at all. But I did watch Vegas, and I liked it! It made me grin, but not - not tingle, in the way things do when they hit my fan buttons.

Yeah. So, in other words - I understand, I really do. I've heard there's a lot of really good fic out right now, but - I have so many other things I'd rather read or watch or even do than read SGA fic. Which is the saddest part, for me - forget not being able to squee over the show, it's losing the capacity to fully enjoy the awesome, awesome fic that's really making me wish I could hit some kind of reset button...!

However, I'm really glad you've found a new show to squee over! I am, of course, intrigued. (And it's got Jim Byrnes, too? ♥) Though right now I've got so very much to watch and read, I feel like my fannish plate is already crammed too full of everything I've been swiping off the Japanese smörgåsbord. <- I just like how it's a Nordic word, and I can make it show up with our weird little letters. *g*

I'm going to keep nudging One Piece at you, because especially if you read the manga... It's not something to fan on as in wanting to write fic for it, but if you want something to enjoy for its storytelling and epic scope? One Piece is it. I've been coming back to One Piece since February 2004, and I have never been disappointed in the manga. ♥ I'm not constantly fanning on it, of course though I did spend my full year in Japan reading it as it came out, discussing all the developments with [livejournal.com profile] shayera. There are a lot of awesome things about it, but this is one of the awesomest: reading the manga is watching a completed story unfurl a bit at a time, delivered straight from Oda's brain, where it's all there already. It already exists, the whole world with its history and politics and all of the characters with their lives so far; their interactions with each other and everyone else, and their destinies ahead. We're just waiting for it all to be revealed, one chapter a week at the time.

Plus, of course - it's a shounen, so it's got the incredible thing of people too wounded to fight to defend themselves still having the energy to attempt to protect their friends, even at the cost of their own life, and there is no end to the many little ways in which they drive home the meaning of nakama.

(Also, I might still be on a little bit of a high. Just a little. Because the past... um. 50 chapters? Have been pure, distilled awesome, and I read them all in two days, and then I got to see Odacchi~! *flails*)

[identity profile] leenys.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
I've been wanting to get into Manga and I'm having trouble finding one that's interesting...I'll check this out.

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[identity profile] leenys.livejournal.com - 2008-12-23 17:58 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] parisindy.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
(((((hugs))))

loosing something you love sucks

if it makes you feel better i don't really do much with the
fandom any more or they show but there is still alot of fanfic i enjoy

ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-24 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :)

[identity profile] leenys.livejournal.com 2008-12-23 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
I've read through these posts and thank GOD I'm not the only one that feels this way. I left a group I'd been a moderator of almost since the show first aired because I grew so weary of the fandom wank. I can remember saying to these people when SGA was getting on its feet and the SG1 "loyalists" were bashing it to hell and gone...I said I was glad that the SGA fandom embraced all its characters, that there was equal love to go around, that we got along and appreciated the show for what it was. That this fandom wouldn't go the route of the SG1 fans.

Ellex's reply to me? "Give it time." She was right.

It's like no one can say anything good about the show anymore. My interest in the fandom started fading after the whole Carson leaving thing, and it wasn't because he left. It was because if we liked the show after he was gone, we were labeled as the ultimate betrayers. Heaven forbid! Or heaven forbid one should like Keller? Or Carter? And. . .*gasp* SAY SO?

For me it wasn't the show that disappointed. It was the fandom. I couldn't go anywhere to hear anything good about it, let alone discuss it. I lost all desire to write. I even tried posting a story recently, think I've got two chapters up, and I can't finish it because I just don't care. There's no pleasure in it. The characters not only stopped talking to me, the fandom stole their voices, and that I *will* be bitter about.

The funny thing is, I'm so immersed in the Supernatural fandom (my tight circles only, oh LORD do I stay away from the forums, learned that lesson back in my Sg1 days) that I almost can't write for it. Including unpublished, I have 52 stories for SGA. I think I have seven for SPN. Go figure. But that show provides so much of what I crave, I think I don't feel the need to add to it often. I write if I have an idea for a story, not because I have this need to see character interaction that is otherwise lacking. The fact that the two leads of SPN are best friends is a bonus, and I can be happy just looking at a picture of them. Very fulfilling. . .IF I stay away from the nay-sayers in that fandom, and MAN are there nay-sayers in that fandom!! It gets absolutely crazy. So I created my own little sanctuary. :)

And should I want to write SGA again, there's always The Jumper Bay, which the wank seems to be avoiding. Thank god.

So yeah. I'm right there with ya. Cause MAN, for a while I was really having fun in Atlantis.
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-24 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I hear ya on the SGA thing -- it was a very pleasant, welcoming fandom when I first got into it, and then season three happened, with the big rift between Carson people and everyone else, and so many people left with a lot of bitterness at that time. And it's kind of been one thing after another ever since. I recognize people's right to be upset with the show, at the same time that I really hate how much it's affected my own enjoyment of it.
amalthia: (Default)

[personal profile] amalthia 2008-12-23 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
I had to give up TWOP before it completely ruined my enjoyment of Supernatural. So I think I know what you're going through. Too much negativity really does get to you and it really is impossible not to see once you see. :(

Hugs.
ext_1981: (Default)

[identity profile] friendshipper.livejournal.com 2008-12-24 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
It's funny how hard it is *not* to be affected by other fans' dissatisfaction. I'm so torn, because I certainly recognize that other people can't help feeling about the show the way that they do. But I can't help being affected by their unhappiness.

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[personal profile] amalthia - 2008-12-24 21:40 (UTC) - Expand

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