Whumpcember day 8: Faked Death

[sholio]

Day 8: Faked Death

Falcon & Winter Soldier, Sam & Bucky & Zemo, gen (which could also be Sam/Bucky if you like)


--

"For the record," Sam said, "just for the record, Zemo, you are a — Bucky, what's the word I want here —"

"Son of a bitch?" Bucky suggested from his seat at the kitchen table. "Idiot? Incredibly annoying pain in my—"

"This is not the warm welcome I was expecting," Zemo said.

Sam balled up one of Sarah's dish towels and hurled it at him. Months of throwing the shield had given him a lot of accuracy as well as truly impressive throwing muscles. Zemo caught it before it hit his face, and said, startled, "Ow."

"You can't just fake your own death and show up two months later in my sister's kitchen, man. That is so incredibly not on that I'm not even going to dignify it by calling it a plan because it really, really is not."

"But it worked," Zemo pointed out. "It got me out of the Raft."

"Just ask us next time!" Sam said in exasperation. "We can do something!"

At the table, Bucky topped off his coffee and reached for the creamer. "Oh, I break him out of prison and it's all 'Bucky, what have you done, I'm never speaking to you again,' but you offer to break him out of prison—"

"Shut up," Sam said.

"Coffee?" Bucky asked.

"Thank you," Zemo said politely. "Yes, please." He edged a little further into Sarah's kitchen, removed a pile of game cartridges and a cereal box from the other end of the table, and sat down.

"I'm not speaking to either of you," Sam said.

"That's going to make dinnertime really awkward," Bucky said. He poured Zemo a cup of coffee, held up the pot and gestured to Sam's cup. Sam gave serious consideration to dumping the dregs on him, then held it out and let Bucky top it off.



Previous days:

Day 1: Hypothermia (Biggles)
Day 4: Shortness of Breath (Biggles)
Day 5: "I hate you!" (Biggles) (Also on AO3 - "Gold from Sand")

Full list of prompts (on Tumblr)

Comments

[rachelmanija]

AWWWWWW.

[sholio]

Thank you! :D

[lynnenne]

“Oh, I break him out of prison and it's all 'Bucky, what have you done, I'm never speaking to you again,' but you offer to break him out of prison—"

"Shut up," Sam said.

LOLOL! Excellent.

[sholio]

They're so much fun to write! I missed them.

[osprey_archer]

"Oh, I break him out of prison and it's all 'Bucky, what have you done, I'm never speaking to you again,' but you offer to break him out of prison—"

"Shut up," Sam said.

Ahaha I love this, that's so them, 100% the vibe. Love the Sam & Bucky & Zemo Show parts of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and you've captured them perfectly here, right down to Zemo's outward show of politeness while doing deeply impolite things like "faking his own death and disappearing for two months and then acting baffled why that would bother anybody."

[sholio]

I'm delighted you liked it! That was an absolutely delightful part of the show, and so much fun to write about.

[sheron]

What is this. This is not a Biggles :monocle:

XD

This is very in character for Zemo, and I love that Sam & Bucky are so mad at him about it ♥

[sholio]

What is this. This is not a Biggles :monocle:

I write other things! ..... sometimes.

[scioscribe]

At the table, Bucky topped off his coffee and reached for the creamer. "Oh, I break him out of prison and it's all 'Bucky, what have you done, I'm never speaking to you again,' but you offer to break him out of prison—"

This is pitch-perfect.

Also, AWWWW. And Bucky's line about Zemo not talking to them making dinner really awkward! <3

[sholio]

They're all just so CUTE. <3

[philomytha]

LOL! Faking his own death and sauntering in to breakfast two months later is peak Zemo! I love their banter, and how angry Sam is about it and also that he wasn’t invited to help! So adorable!

[sholio]

Thank you!! He would totally do this, I think.

[sovay]

"You can't just fake your own death and show up two months later in my sister's kitchen, man. That is so incredibly not on that I'm not even going to dignify it by calling it a plan because it really, really is not."

Yay.

[sholio]

It's such a Zemo plan, really.

[dariaw]

So great :)

[sholio]

Thank you! :D

[aelfgyfu_mead]

"Oh, I break him out of prison and it's all 'Bucky, what have you done, I'm never speaking to you again,' but you offer to break him out of prison—"

Now I want a story of how Zemo manages to fake his own death—while on the Raft?!

[sholio]

Knowing him, it's probably something completely extra and objectively insane. Why fake your death in an ordinary way when you can stage a plan that involves being eaten by sharks instead?

[aelfgyfu_mead]

Why indeed!

[yhlee]

This is ADORBS. :D :D :D