December posting meme: Pairing preferences

[sholio]

veleda_k asks: I know you're not much of a shipper, so what does work to get you excited about pairings, whether or not you "ship" them in a commonly accepted sense?

That is a really good question!

I think to some extent it's the same indefinable something that gets me excited about a character: some pairings just really work for me, while others don't do as much. I know that's not a very useful answer, but I'm not sure what it is that makes me delight in some pairings while most others don't really move me one way or the other.

(I am also not very likely to dislike a pairing; there are very few pairings that I have an "ew, no!" reaction to. Mostly, they're just something that I don't have strong feelings about.)

There are a few things I can think of that make me more likely to really enjoy a pairing, though!

- I like friendly, low-key romances between partners who really like each other, especially if it's an established relationship. It's a little funny because I love contentious friendships that are frequently teetering on the edge of disaster, but I prefer uncontentious romances (in general -- there are always exceptions!). I'm not particularly fond of "slap slap kiss kiss" type romances in which the couple constantly fight and then fall into bed. I prefer romances in which the couple either start off friendly and have a low-key slide into romance, or are already a couple who are solid and comfortable in their relationship at the start of canon.

- I like romances that are really different from the "true love 4evah! marriage! cohabitation! etc!" cultural ideal. I said above that I don't particularly enjoy bickering pairings, but there is one HUGE exception, which is bickering couples who would probably drive each other crazy, either through personality conflicts or fundamental differences in outlook, if they actually tried to live together, but have a mutually satisfying on-again/off-again romance anyway -- for example, Duncan/Amanda in Highlander, or Sara/Neal on White Collar. I absolutely adore couples/pairings who deviate significantly from the cultural true-love/monogamy relationship ideal but are content in whatever arrangement they've worked out with each other, the sort of thing where outsiders don't really understand and think they must be miserable, but they are really happy doing their own thing. Poly characters would definitely fall into this category, though I'm having trouble thinking of canon ones that have particular resonance for me. Basically I really wish there were more characters who are friends sometimes, and lovers at other times, and don't seem to be on a trajectory toward either monogamous True Love or breakup. I also want more couples who don't live together and like it that way.

-There's also a certain trope which gets me right in the FEEEEELINGS, although I'm having a little trouble describing it. I guess you could loosely term it Beauty and the Beast, where there's an alpha-type, physically powerful, hard-edged character, and someone who is soft and gentle and kind and nice, and the hard-edged one loses all their hard edges and dissolves into a pillow when they're around the other person. Rumpelstiltskin/Belle got me this way in season one and early season two of OUaT, though much less so later on. Shido/Madoka from GetBackers are probably a better example. There is a really fine line between a well-done example of this sort of thing, and a pairing which plunges straight into "do not want" territory where one partner is unfairly dominating the other one, but if you give me a tough, powerful character being protective of a gentle, soft one, I go fluttery. :) It doesn't have to be M/f, although I think that's probably the most common incarnation.

Let me know if I can clarify or expand on any of the above -- writing it out is helping me work it out in my head (and also giving me ideas for relationships to explore in my original writing! :D).

Comments

[veleda_k]

This was really interesting to read! I have a lot of difficulties nailing down exactly what trends can be found in my ships, so it's always interesting to see other people teasing it out.

I totally know what you mean about the "Beauty and the Beast"-ish dynamic. Shido/Madoka are a great example of it, and one that always felt very respectful and not one fit of temper away from abuse.

I'm actually just starting S2 of Highlander, and I'm looking forward to more Amanda. (Thought right now I'm pretty much just into Duncan/Tessa.)

[sholio]

Ooh, that's neat that you're watching Highlander! I'll be interested in knowing what you think. :) If you're interested, I posted detailed episode reactions while I was watching it under my tv:highlander tag -- you'll have to scroll back a bit, because HL was the fandom that came closest to being my "next major fandom" right before I got into White Collar, so there are a lot of posts under that tag. Er, also you'll see me having a bit of a meltdown because people kept spoiling me for parts of the series I hadn't seen yet. :P Anyway, I had a brief but intense foray into HL fandom in 2011 and wrote some fic for it, so I would love to discuss it with you if you feel like chatting about it! :)

Anyway, thank you for the question; it was really interesting to try to pin down my feelings about this! When it comes right down to it, I think the only thing that's really consistent is that there are no hard-and-fast lines; it's really a matter of how the individual pairing strikes me, I think. But there are a few recurring patterns between fandoms.