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... so there's this meme
I keep looking at interesting memes and then managing not to do them, because I'm really too busy right now, but I've reached a point where most of what I have left to do for the semester either consists of studying for tests or working on art projects (read: waiting for paint to dry) sooo, as seen all around my flist lately ...
Pick a paragraph (or any passage 500-1000 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
I'm not sure if "DVD commentary" is exactly what I'll end up doing with it, but I'll be happy to talk a little bit about the passage(s) that you select. :)
My SGA fic (except the last year, because I haven't updated my website in awhile) is here, or use my tags to find my more recent or non-SGA fic.
Pick a paragraph (or any passage 500-1000 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
I'm not sure if "DVD commentary" is exactly what I'll end up doing with it, but I'll be happy to talk a little bit about the passage(s) that you select. :)
My SGA fic (except the last year, because I haven't updated my website in awhile) is here, or use my tags to find my more recent or non-SGA fic.
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Just like that, he was falling, the cable slithering through his wet fingers. He had an instant of panic, unable to tell which girder was which in the near-total darkness between decking and sea; for an instant he was completely disoriented and thought that he might already be too late, that things might have shifted while he was above. Then the cable jerked to a halt -- Ford must have played it out to the point where Sheppard had stopped before. "McKay?" he called breathlessly as he caught himself on what he hoped was the same girder where he'd been before.
"You came back," McKay said in a small voice that sounded very unlike him.
"Of course I did, Rodney; what, did you think I'd leave you down here?"
McKay snapped back, "Of course not," but there was just enough pause beforehand that Sheppard realized, on some deep-down level, he really hadn't been convinced. A twinge went through him at that, because what kind of life did a man have to lead to believe that your squad members, your teammates, would leave you to drown, alone in the dark?
And what about YOU, John; if you were trapped in a dark place, waiting to die, would you trust your teammates to get you out? Sure, you'd like to think they'd come for you, but in that deep-down place at the bottom of your soul, do you really think they would?
He didn't want to think about the answer. Instead, he knelt on the wet girder and reached through the opening. "McKay, see if you can reach my hands."
I love this bit, would love to hear your take on it!
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Which makes it kind of a hilarious one to analyze. But I do remember the writing process; I just don't ever seem to include this one when I'm mentally going over my stories. I wrote this for an SGA secret-santa exchange; it was the one over at
McKay snapped back, "Of course not," but there was just enough pause beforehand that Sheppard realized, on some deep-down level, he really hadn't been convinced. A twinge went through him at that, because what kind of life did a man have to lead to believe that your squad members, your teammates, would leave you to drown, alone in the dark?
And what about YOU, John; if you were trapped in a dark place, waiting to die, would you trust your teammates to get you out? Sure, you'd like to think they'd come for you, but in that deep-down place at the bottom of your soul, do you really think they would?
It's fascinating to examine these characters at the beginning of their arc -- before Trinity, before Epiphany, before Grace Under Pressure, before all of the episodes that came together to form the level of trust and comfort that they have as of the late seasons of the show. I had to keep reminding myself that all of the trust and dependency issues that were revealed and dealt with later on had yet to be addressed at this point -- these people don't really know each other yet, and furthermore, they haven't been in situations that would have made them realize they could depend on each other.
One of the main things that is revealed in this scene is that McKay and Sheppard are both somewhat similar in this. This is still the Sheppard who, in Epiphany, thought the team had left him there. At this point there's a real gap between Sheppard's ethical compass ("Leave no man behind") and his deep-down cynicism that no one would do that for him. In this scene, he starts to recognize this and then shies away from it and focuses on the here-and-now. The epiphany that he doesn't have here is the one that he'll have later on in Epiphany and other episodes.
And Rodney, of course, is still the brash and insecure Rodney who was so disbelieving that anyone would rescue him in Grace Under Pressure.
And I'm glad to hear you liked this scene. :) This story might be the redheaded stepchild of my stories in some ways, but it did have some neat bits and I think this was among my favorite parts of it to write.
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Anyway, this is definitely one of my favourite shorter fics of yours. I love how you deal with early-John, Rodney et al. Nice to know the thinking behind it!
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<< "So how you doing down there, McKay?" He bent over Rodney and slipped a hand inside the sleeping bag to check on him. Still ice-cold. He remembered vaguely that hypothermic people couldn't generate enough heat to warm themselves back up, once they stopped shivering. Or maybe that was just something his buddies on McMurdo used to say, some sort of urban legend thing. He really should have paid more attention to those first aid courses. And maybe taking the morphine had been a mistake; this would all be much easier if he could think straight.
Sheppard sat down next to Rodney on the floor. McKay needed to be warmed up, core first, and Sheppard didn't really have any way to apply heat to him other than the standard movie treatment for hypothermia. Which he'd never seen anybody actually do in real life, and was probably a stupid idea, not to mention embarrassing as hell.
Still ...
Rodney was unconscious, Caldwell was gone ... it wasn't like anyone was ever going to find out about this. He didn't know what else to do, and the idea of sitting around and letting Rodney die when he could do something to help him, but wouldn't due to embarrassment -- how could he ever face himself in the mirror again? Frankly he'd rather throw himself on a live grenade than crawl inside a sleeping bag with a mostly naked teammate. If only there was a grenade handy.
Rodney's shallow breathing hitched slightly, and Sheppard groaned to himself, and peeled off his jacket and shirt. If Rodney woke up in the middle of this, Sheppard had every intention of smacking him unconscious again.
Rodney was shockingly cold, especially when touching him with bare skin. That was probably just as well, though, because in Sheppard's opinion, cuddling with a mostly-naked McKay should not be in any way a comfortable experience. He wrapped his arms around Rodney and proceeded to squirm, shift and try every possible angle until concluding that there really was no comfortable way to do this, especially while trying to have as little physical contact with Rodney as was possible while trapped in a sleeping bag with the man. When they got back, he was definitely putting in a request with the SGC for a beautiful 25-year-old female astrophysicist. Did Carter have a little sister?
There was another of those little hitches in Rodney's breathing and for a moment, he actually seemed to stop breathing. Sheppard froze in an instant of numbing terror, and then he was afraid to move again, afraid that one more twist or jostle was going to be the one that stopped Rodney's heart.
The arm that was currently jammed underneath Rodney's shoulder had already started going numb. Sheppard wriggled, as gently as he could, into a less painful position, with one arm tucked under Rodney's neck so that they rested forehead-to-forehead, practically breathing the same air.
This had better goddamn work. He was torn between wanting to see those blue eyes flutter open, and wanting Rodney to stay safely unconscious for the next couple hours and never, ever find out about this as long as he lived. Leaning heavily towards the latter option.
He really didn't mean to fall asleep. For one thing, falling asleep in Rodney McKay's arms was pretty high on his list of Top Ten Things I Never Want To Do in the Pegasus Galaxy; for another, he kinda needed to stay awake to make sure that the irritating SOB kept breathing, and then there was the whole "keeping an eye out for Armstrong" thing. But he hadn't slept in nearly two days (passing out didn't count), had been running on adrenaline for much of that time, and had just dosed himself on heavy-duty painkillers. >>
I would have liked to quote a bigger part because the context is important here but max. commet-length is 4300.
Given their physical state and the way John is worried about Rodney dying, he still thinks about how embarrassing the situation may look? That always stroke me as a little odd because I thought that at this point he would be past this and feel way to worried and exhausted to care. So, I'm really interested in hearing what your thoughts on this were.
BTW, I *love* Caldwell's dry reaction in the next chapter. :-)
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Given their physical state and the way John is worried about Rodney dying, he still thinks about how embarrassing the situation may look? That always stroke me as a little odd because I thought that at this point he would be past this and feel way to worried and exhausted to care. So, I'm really interested in hearing what your thoughts on this were.
Well, there were two levels to this scene when I was writing it -- the in-universe level and the meta level.
On the meta level, the trope of hypothermia-snuggling-leading-to-sex is as old as the (fanfic) hills. I liked the challenge of including such a scene in a story that was gen. Since readers bring a certain set of expectations to a scene like that, I wanted to make it clear that there was going to be no sex in this Canadian Shack tonight. It'd probably be similar with any trope that stereotypically leads to sex -- characters getting drugged offworld, or accidentally married in an alien ceremony, etc. The reader sees the trope coming and expects a certain outcome; as a writer, it's necessary to actively work against what the reader thinks is going to happen in order to make them believe in what actually does happen. (Whether or not I succeeded is, of course, a different story ...)
But all that wouldn't matter if it wasn't believable for the character to react in the fashion that he does -- and I think the way I had Sheppard react in this scene is as believable and in character for my Sheppard as I can get. (I can't speak to anyone else's characterization of Sheppard, of course.) The thing is, I guess, I don't see a American guy reacting in any other way to this kind of situation unless he is very comfortable with his own sexuality ... which, regardless of whether you view him as straight or closeted gay or bi, Sheppard's plainly not. I wrote this scene with the assumption in mind that Sheppard is a straight American guy with all the repressed, nearly automatic homophobia that American guys tend to bring to their interactions with other guys. (Not that all American guys have to be like that. I know guys who aren't. But a macho guy in a very macho occupation who is as plainly uncomfortable with social interaction and general touching as Sheppard is? Yeah.) Even if you read Sheppard as other than straight, though, I think the scene would still play out the same -- except maybe without the reference to a female astrophysicist, which is basically just Sheppard taking his mind off the situation in his typical sarcastic kind of way; in reality, if Rodney were female under those circumstances, or if Sheppard were something other than straight, he'd have a whole lot more to worry about if it were actually taken the wrong way.
As well as going out on a limb sexually -- and keep in mind he's a guy who stands to lose everything (his career, his team, his place on Atlantis) if his actions are misinterpreted by Caldwell -- there's also the problem that he's not even sure if this is the appropriate thing to do under the circumstances. He's basically employing a first-aid technique that he's seen done in the movies, and he feels like a total idiot about it, while also being desperate enough to try it. He doesn't really want to have to explain to Rodney that he stripped off his clothes and crawled into a sleeping back with him because he saw someone do that in a movie one time. There are months of potential teasing fodder right there. *g*
Someone who is a lot more comfortable in his skin and able to roll with the punches in different social situations probably wouldn't be having this problem. Ronon, for example -- Ronon is so physically comfortable with himself and other people, as well as coming from a different cultural background, that I think he'd just strip and do what needed to be done, and roll his eyes at anyone who was enough of a moron not to realize what he was doing and why he was doing it. But Sheppard's not that guy.
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If I were writing this with a gay John, though, I think he'd be even weirder about it, because he'd be worried about damaging the friendship if Rodney jumped to conclusions. Imagine John crawling into a sleeping back with a naked Teyla, and the amount of discomfort that would ensue -- because he's afraid of her reaction. I don't think straight!John is genuinely concerned about Rodney getting the wrong idea; Rodney knows him too well for that. Gay!John would be very much worried about that, not to mention about his career if this is a secret he's hiding.
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"Rodney," Sheppard said, gently. "I'm alive."
"I know you are." Rodney twisted away, just hard enough to break Sheppard's weak grip. He wasn't ready to stop being angry yet.
I'm not finished being angry at you for taking stupid chances, for throwing your life away a dozen times over for everyone you meet. I'm not done being mad at you for worrying about ME when you were the one whose leg was falling off. I'm not done being mad at you for making me cry, you ass.
Sheppard drew his hand back, but still let it trail over the side of the bed towards Rodney. "So," he said in a conversational tone. "When we go back out there -- when we're all cleared for gate travel and back out in the field -- when something like this happens again, I'll just hang around and watch you die instead?"
Rodney was unable to keep himself from flinching. A hit, Sheppard, a palpable hit. "I don't know about you, but I have every intention of not getting culled again anytime in the near future, thanks."
"And you can guarantee that, how?" When Rodney stayed silent, Sheppard gestured with his painfully thin hand. "Every time we go out there, we're taking a huge risk -- you know that. And it isn't just the Wraith. Every time we walk through that gate, there's no telling what might happen. How many times have we been temporarily trapped on the other side, by weather or hostile locals or other circumstances? How long do you think it'll be before we really need to use those wilderness survival skills again?"
"That's why we have you," Rodney snapped. He pulled the thin cotton blanket from the cot over his shoulders. He was suddenly freezing.
Sheppard snorted a humorless laugh. "Yeah, and we've seen how effective I can be." He sighed and leaned back into his pillows, half-closing his eyes in evident exhaustion. "McKay ... every single person on this team, on every team, has to have those skills. I know that, but I've been lax in actually teaching them to you. All it'd take is a few well-aimed bullets or one IED and you'd be alone out there. No me, no Teyla, no Ronon." Seeing Rodney start to shake his head, Sheppard turned his head to the side, hazel eyes snapping fire. "We're in a war zone, Rodney! You can deny it, but that doesn't make it less true. You know we could die out there."
Rodney huddled into the blanket. "I never thought I'd ever hear you admit it," he protested peevishly. "I'm the one who always points out the risks, aren't I? You're the one who goes charging in with guns blazing."
"Then why won't you admit that you need to have the same survival skills the rest of us do, because one of us might not be around to do it for you one of these days?"
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Because I've found my home and family here. Because, though I'll never say it aloud, I'd rather die myself than have anything happen to them. Because if I stop and think about how close we all live to the edge, it'll drive me insane.
"How do you do it?" He didn't even know he was going to ask the question until the words were out of his mouth.
"Me?" Sheppard seemed equally startled. "Do what?"
"Go out there, every time, knowing ... I mean, I always thought you just didn't ... that you never really understood the risks. That you thought you were invulnerable somehow. John Sheppard the Million Dollar Man."
"What, you mean I'm not?" The grin fell slowly away from his face and eyes when he saw Rodney wasn't buying it. "What are you looking for here, McKay? A magic bullet, a perfect answer? I haven't got it. I'm just a guy who gets shot at a lot."
"I just want to know how you can keep going through the gate, even knowing ..." He trailed off. It was a stupid question anyway.
Sheppard spoke softly, into the silence. "Because I make myself as ready as I can be, and then I just don't think about it. That's how I do it, Rodney."
"I'm not capable of not thinking about anything."
A quiet laugh. "I know. That's why we have you along. So you can think of the things the rest of us aren't thinking about. And seriously, McKay, you should be able to leave the military stuff, the risk-taking, up to the rest of us so you can concentrate on other things. It's our job, not yours. I'm not going to try to turn you into some kind of super-soldier. But knowing that you're capable of handling yourself in a wilderness emergency ... it would make my job easier, knowing that. That's all."
"Oh, just give me the stupid book," Rodney grumbled. He knew what Sheppard could be like when he got an idea into his head. It was easier to just read the damn book and take a couple of survival courses than to put up with the nagging.
"It's by your bed." And that had better not be triumph in that quiet voice, or he was going to pop him one in the mouth, sick or not.
Rodney twisted his head to the side and saw the book lying on his bedside table, where he'd left it after storming out of the infirmary hours ago. "Well, isn't it just. Guess I'll have some light reading at breakfast tomorrow." He turned to see Sheppard still lying on his side, watching him, one hand tucked under his face. "And speaking of the time, it's the middle of the night and Carson is going to sedate us both if you don't get some sleep."
"Looks like you could use some too."
Rodney snorted. He was perfectly fine ... just a little tired. And damn, he was tired, and starting to drift. "Excellent, we have something in common. Good night, Colonel."
He shut his eyes and almost immediately felt his body relaxing. The soft beeping of Sheppard's monitors was hypnotic, lulling him over the edge. He could feel one of his arms slip off the bed -- on accident really; he was just too tired to keep track of all his limbs -- and it was more trouble than it was worth to try to gather it back up again. Then, out of nowhere, he felt a cold hand with an IV in the back of it close over his own and give it a sudden, hard squeeze. Before he could quite believe that the Colonel had invaded his personal space in such an utterly gratuitous way, the hand had withdrawn and he whipped his head around to see Sheppard settling both hands innocently on his chest as if they had always been there.
Rodney ruthlessly fought down the grin that wanted to tug at the corners of his mouth. He was not about to give the idiot that kind of satisfaction. But it must have shown in his eyes, for the warmth was caught and reflected in Sheppard's hazel ones, before the eyelids slid shut and the Colonel's breathing evened out.
Part the first
This scene -- hmm! *thinks* I really love writing John and Rodney trying to do the awkward dancing-around-emotions thing that they do. I'm still not entirely sure about the ending of this story -- I had to end it somewhere, and I'm not generally a big fan of long slow wrap-ups, but I've since considered writing a sequel to deal with some of Rodney's lingering issues, because I think he has a lot of emotional healing to go through before he can comfortably step through a Stargate again. This is obviously not to say that I dislike this particular scene, because I do. It's just that I never know where to end stuff! I always feel like I could write a little bit beyond the point where I actually stopped.
Sheppard was not originally supposed to be injured in this story. Obviously, you can imagine how much that would have changed the last half. Ultimately I was much happier with the result than I would have been otherwise, but the plan was for Sheppard and McKay to hook up and day-saving to commence. Then I wrote the scene in which Sheppard saves the kid and gets a Wraith stunner through the leg and HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN. *scraps plan for last half of story* Like I said, I think it was a much stronger story in the end than it would have been otherwise, because Rodney was forced completely out of his comfort zone. In a different meme some time back, someone asked how the story would have been different if Rodney had been injured instead of Sheppard. Like I said in my reply, I think it would actually have been a much less interesting story, because Sheppard does what he normally does (flies a dart, saves the day) and Rodney does what he normally does (comes up with a plan that Sheppard can implement) and no one learns anything or really grows as a person. As it was, though, Rodney in particular really got pushed to learn and grow and change, and this scene is where the fallout is really addressed.
"Rodney," Sheppard said, gently. "I'm alive."
"I know you are." Rodney twisted away, just hard enough to break Sheppard's weak grip. He wasn't ready to stop being angry yet.
I'm not finished being angry at you for taking stupid chances, for throwing your life away a dozen times over for everyone you meet. I'm not done being mad at you for worrying about ME when you were the one whose leg was falling off. I'm not done being mad at you for making me cry, you ass.
I love how Rodney can't say what's bothering him, but Sheppard gets it anyway. I think that back when I wrote this (season two era) I tended to generally write Sheppard more emotionally open and perceptive than I came to see him later, once we'd had another few seasons to see how emotionally closed-off he is. Though I'm not necessarily sure if I would have written this scene any different -- it's just interesting to me to see how quickly he recognizes what's bothering Rodney and, perhaps more to the point, how readily he is willing to address it to make Rodney feel better. At this time, I saw Sheppard very much in a sort of nurturing-and-guiding role on the team, which I'm not sure is quite how I see him anymore -- at least, I think he's less likely to be a mentor/confessor/therapist for the others than I sometimes used to write him.
Part the second
"What, you mean I'm not?" The grin fell slowly away from his face and eyes when he saw Rodney wasn't buying it. "What are you looking for here, McKay? A magic bullet, a perfect answer? I haven't got it. I'm just a guy who gets shot at a lot."
"I just want to know how you can keep going through the gate, even knowing ..." He trailed off. It was a stupid question anyway.
Sheppard spoke softly, into the silence. "Because I make myself as ready as I can be, and then I just don't think about it. That's how I do it, Rodney."
I really like this whole exchange -- and, like a lot of the characters' maunderings in stuff I write, this was me trying to work out Sheppard to my own satisfaction. His behavior seems self-destructive at times, and he's sometimes written that way in fic, so I wanted to explain how it looks from his point of view -- because I doubt if Sheppard sees himself either as reckless or as particularly heroic, so how does he explain himself, to himself?
He shut his eyes and almost immediately felt his body relaxing. The soft beeping of Sheppard's monitors was hypnotic, lulling him over the edge. He could feel one of his arms slip off the bed -- on accident really; he was just too tired to keep track of all his limbs -- and it was more trouble than it was worth to try to gather it back up again. Then, out of nowhere, he felt a cold hand with an IV in the back of it close over his own and give it a sudden, hard squeeze. Before he could quite believe that the Colonel had invaded his personal space in such an utterly gratuitous way, the hand had withdrawn and he whipped his head around to see Sheppard settling both hands innocently on his chest as if they had always been there.
Rodney ruthlessly fought down the grin that wanted to tug at the corners of his mouth. He was not about to give the idiot that kind of satisfaction. But it must have shown in his eyes, for the warmth was caught and reflected in Sheppard's hazel ones, before the eyelids slid shut and the Colonel's breathing evened out.
Is it silly that this scene still makes me heart-clutch, considering that I wrote it? Because it does. Sometimes things just work, and I really feel like this worked -- that it was just the right balance of distance and closeness, awkwardness and affection that I was trying to achieve.
Sheppard smiling with just his eyes is an image that I really, really love, and tend to use a lot when I'm writing him. I'm not actually sure if he ever does this in canon (or, in a visual medium, that you'd even be able to tell if he did) but I love the understatedness of it; it's so him.
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"Whatever Can Go Wrong":
Two Days Later ...
"Colonel Landry, sir?"
It was Harriman, and he sounded strangely out of breath, as if he'd been ... running? Landry raised his head from his paperwork. "Any word from Atlantis, Sergeant?"
"Yes, sir, you wanted to know immediately, and we did get a ..." His voice cut off in a strangled little squeak; then he gulped and got hold of himself. "... a report, sir. Dr. Weir apologizes for being late."
"Did she explain why they were late?"
"You'd better read the report, sir." His voice still sounded oddly tight, and Landry became aware of some kind of noise in the background. It sounded like ... laughter?
"Is everything okay down there, Harriman?"
"Fine, General. It's fine. Um, I recommend you read the Atlantis report at your earliest convenience, though."
"It'll have to wait, Sergeant, because I was just heading to a briefing with SG-1."
"You might have to wait for that, sir."
Landry frowned as he pushed back his chair. "Any particular reason for that?"
"Because they're all here, sir. Reading the report."
"That report is for my eyes first, Sergeant," Landry snapped.
"Yes, I know that, sir, but I happened to -- er, Colonel Carter noticed my reaction to -- er, you really need to read it, sir."
"Why don't I come down there, and you can all fill me in, eh?"
"Perhaps you should do that, sir."
When he arrived at the gateroom a few minutes later, it was to find SG-1 clustered around Carter's laptop, along with Harriman, Vala and a handful of soldiers. Daniel had his head down on the countertop and his shoulders shook with muffled laughter. Carter, her face bright red from laughing, was reading aloud:
"... at which point we heard a loud explosion from the hallway and discovered that Specialist Dex's newly acquired power was the ability to shoot laser beams from his eyes. This distracted me from Colonel Sheppard's attempts to -- oh God, I can't -- to beat up -- oh dear -- you read this part, I can't --" and she dissolved into helpless laughter, shoving the laptop at Mitchell.
"... attempts to beat up Rodney using his own detached left arm," Cam read, trying with only some success to keep a straight face. "Then the flock of seagulls began to -- Oh, General, hello sir!"
Landry leaned over their shoulders. "And, in a nutshell, the reason why Atlantis missed their check-in by almost 24 hours is ...?"
"They activated an Ancient device, sir," Carter explained, wiping her eyes, "and it took them that long to manage to shut it off."
Daniel raised his head long enough to say, in a tone of great satisfaction, "It's nice to know that we're not the only ones this kind of thing happens to."
I´ll be forever grateful for every sentence further detailing the events in those two days. And I really want to know what the seagulls did. (And where they came from. Probably purple alien seagulls...)
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I wonder if anyone ever noticed that I got Landry's rank wrong here. *g* I actually noticed this a couple of years ago, and never got around to fixing it and re-uploading the story. (Maybe eventually.... yeah, I actually AM that lazy.)
Anyway ... *laughs* You would not believe how many people have asked about those two days!
I'd originally planned to write the whole thing. Actually, the reason why I didn't was perfectly mundane -- I was running out of time on the challenge I'd written it for (Secret Superpowers, I think), but I liked what I had and didn't want to abandon it. Then the idea hit me of doing the coda with SG-1 reading the mission report and cracking up.
In actual fact, though, I think the story works better without having everything that happened in the two days being spelled out for the reader. Humor flies or dies on what isn't said, at least as much as what is said. A joke that's explained isn't nearly as funny as a joke you have to think about before getting it. And I think that anything the reader can fill in with their imagination is probably funnier than anything I could write!
Having said that, I do have a couple of tiny snippets saved in the original document for what might have become the rest of it if I'd ever written it -- when I'm writing, I tend to collect cut bits and future scenes at the bottom of the document, to be saved in case I ever need them. So here you go:
---
Outside, there was a scream and Rodney went tearing by, waving his arms around his head and trailed by a flock of several hundred seagulls.
They all stared after him.
"I didn't know this planet even had seagulls," Elizabeth said.
---
and...
---
There was a loud "AARGH" ... thud from Sheppard's direction. "Don't mind me ... I'm fine ... leg fell off ... be there in a minute."
---
Yeah ... there isn't much. *g* But that's what I've got! It's been long enough now that I don't even remember if I ever planned anything else, though I don't think I had any concrete plans for the rest of it (and that was another reason I was kind of glad I didn't end up writing it -- I was worried that the joke would wear very thin over several thousand more words of story).
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(and no, I didn´t notice the "Colonel" Landry ^^)