Okay, this cheered me up a lot

[sholio]

I'm actually feeling a lot better than I was when I wrote my last post. *hugs f'list* But ... wow ... there's something kind of heady about looking over my old work and realizing how far I've come as a writer. Pursuant to a conversation with xparrot, I was looking through some of my really old unfinished fanfics, wondering if there was anything in there that I might consider moving out of the WIP pile. If I do finish any of these, though, it's going to take a hell of a lot more than just filling in the missing scenes -- I'm looking at the clunky prose, the randomly switching character names and verb tenses, the painful dialogue, and boggling. No wonder I never managed to publish anything back then. XD (What I'm re-reading right now is from early 2002, an old Invisible Man h/c story that I never finished.) I suppose I'd already realized that, in theory, I must be improving, but it's so incremental that it's really not noticeable -- until you put this story side-by-side with the ones I'm writing now, and, wow. The difference in the smoothness and readability of the prose is just amazing.

Comments

[valleya.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine once told me this: The days do not reveal what the years will show. So you're right, it's something so gradual you don't even notice the changes and improvements in style as they happen, but over time, you can see a major improvement. You've always been a sga writer hero of mine, mostly because it was reading all of your marvelous tales that I got so hooked on the fandom. So here's a virtual hug for you! Write... write whatever you want as long as it brings out your great passion and original style of writing. Then just keep it up! *GG*

[sholio]

Awwww ... thank you! ^_^

It's interesting to look at this old story, because even though it was written several years before I started writing SGA, the general scenario and the emotional tone and everything is something that I could totally see myself doing with John and Rodney (except that the specifics wouldn't work without a lot of Ancient-device handwaving, as neither of them can turn invisible *g*). I was clearly still me, with the same set of fan-buttons -- but I think I was much less aware of them back then, when I hadn't been in fandom very long, and really didn't know what my buttons were quite yet.

[jadesfire2808.livejournal.com]

Woot! That's the best feeling ever, to know that you've really *learnt* something, that you're getting better. There's nothing quite like reading old fic for that. Do you think you'll go back and overhaul any of them?

Yay! Glad you're doing better *twirls you*

[sholio]

*twirls* I really do feel a lot better! I was so depressed today ... but maybe you can only stay depressed so long before you start rebounding (unless there's something clinical going on, which has happened to me before, even to the suicidal point, and I think it always scares me a little bit now when I get into a funk -- I don't want to slide back down into that hole!).

Do you think you'll go back and overhaul any of them?

I'm not sure! I really like this Invisible Man one -- well, except for the fact that the prose is awful, so I'd have to rewrite it from the sentence level upwards. The overall scenario and emotions, though, I can totally work with ... and I'm remembering, now, how much I loved all three of the main characters on this show, and the friendship between them.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Ahahahah yes, I posted one of my RGB zine fics a bit ago and couldn't even read it over before posting, because the prose and characterizations tweaked me out so. It is nice to see evolution (much better than reading stories from years ago and wondering why I don't write that good anymore. Which happens too ^^;;)

In other news, I entirely approve of I-man h/c! (who gets hurt? that fandom always needed more h/c...)

[sholio]

much better than reading stories from years ago and wondering why I don't write that good anymore.

Heh. I have that happen too!

The victim is Bobby. I'm awful to him. XD That was one of those shows (like SGA) where I was pretty much equal-opportunity with the main cast, but I wanted to do an "everybody loves Bobby" story.

that fandom always needed more h/c...

Actually I remember it being fairly h/c-intensive ... although the other fandoms I was in at the time were primarily anime fandoms, which tend not to go for that sort of thing at all, so maybe it just looked good by comparison!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I've been watching too much SPN; you said Bobby and I was wondering, wait, why is he - oh, yes, Hobbes! ^^;

I don't remember I-man fandom clearly, I just remember that there wasn't as much fic as I wanted there to be. (That was also before I was reading slash, so I've got more to check out now, I suppose. Though I was very OT3 with them, really...)

[sholio]

The thought of an OT3 didn't even cross my mind at the time (I've become so much more inclined to see non-traditional and non-canon pairings since I've been in SGA fandom!) but I loved all three of them; actually one of the reasons why I resented season 2 was because of that one episode where quicksilver!Darien and Claire slept together, which I thought was utterly unfair to Bobby. It was also one of the rare fandoms in which I read slash; I didn't really see it, but like in SGA fandom, I-Man slash was (for the most part) really sweet, fluffy and friendship-based, and I liked it.

Looking back on it, I'm surprised that there was so little het in the fandom, considering that it had a really nifty female character and at least one heavily implied canon pairing -- though maybe it's just that I didn't hang out in those parts of the fandom. I remember a fair amount of Darien/Bobby/Claire or (mostly) Darien/Bobby friendship fic, and the slash, of course. But everything else was pretty rare.

(I have no I-Man icons! I guess that's how you can tell it was a pre-LJ fandom ...)

[sgatazmy.livejournal.com]

Writing is a learning experience. I cringe so much when I look at my old writings. Actually, I cringe at my current stuff too....

[sholio]

I guess we all just improve a little bit with every story we write. Over time it begins to show!