Karma

[sholio]

I've sort of reached current meta saturation on the whole slash/gen thing, for now -- but I just wanted to say that I was really impressed by how reasonable and even-tempered everyone was, not just in my LJ but in most of the other discussions that I saw elsewhere on LJ in this little round of meta-meta-metaness. Also, I have developed a metric ton of respect for synecdochic as both an LJ poster and a person. She's a class act. And I wanted to thank rydra_wong for the links, which I'll be getting to in my next round of fic-reading. (Yes, I've been reading actual books lately. Shock! Awe! But they're rather fannish books...)

Here's a rather neat post via metafandom on why it's a good idea to be polite to people online. I have a real-life anecdote from, er, Monday night, I think -- which illustrates the point rather well. Hubby and I went out to dinner at a local restaurant. Fairbanks is such a small town that it's not uncommon to run into people you know; we said hi to another couple we're acquainted with, who were sitting at the next table over, and then dug into dinner. Meanwhile I started complaining to Hubby about the annoying-ness of one of my co-workers, in rather sarcastic and uncomplimentary terms. (She and I had had a run-in that day.) One of the sad things about that situation is that I like her; it's just that certain things about her drive me crazy. Anyway, I realized about 5/6 of the way through my rant that (a) I was talking quite loudly and (b) the couple at the next table over were close friends of the co-worker in question.

*sinks through floor*

Anyway, the whole Internet is like that. Especially LJ. I mean, yeah, you can f-lock a post, but even so, fandom is so interconnected that unless your f-list is *tiny*, it's not unlikely that whatever you say will get back to the person in question, one way or another.

I've got no problem with defending my beliefs about (((whatever))). I'm not a shrinking violet. But I'd like to think I know where to draw the line between criticizing someone's position, and criticizing *them* -- and there have been a few times lately when I've said something in haste, and then a few people have asked me to clarify/defend my position, and I'll realize that my position is really not all that defensible. Also, I hope that occasional posts which are basically meant to be bitchfests with like-minded people don't come across as me being a total ass...

I think I need some cheerful meta to distract from all the unpleasant meta. I'm off to get a glass of wine and write some!

Comments

[ldyanne.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the other discussions yet (I'm looking forward to them though!), but I agree that especially on the internet where you can't see the way a person is sitting or that they're smiling when they're making a comment or hear the tone of their voice, it's just imperative (at least for me) to make every effort to be polite and consider other people's feelings when you're talking. I know there are limits, but it's so easy to crush people (I know, I'm easily crushable) that I always try to think about how something's going to sound to someone who doesn't know you personally and how you think, feel, act. Especially on LJ where you can be cruising through someone's journal and even though it's public, they have no idea who you are! So, I always try to think about how the things I might say will come across to someone who has no context about me.

[sholio]

Yeah. I will often forget the "anybody could be reading this" aspect to it, only to remember when someone jumps into the discussion with a "Hey, what did you mean by this?" and then I'll go Oh crap, oops.

I mean, I'm certainly going to speak my mind no matter what, but there's definitely a right and a wrong way to do it. :)