Wait wait wait... we've forgotten about the wings! Did the evil mad scientist boyfriend stick some fly DNA in there just to mess with him? (Also, is Character Woobie A played by Jeff Goldblum? That would explain a lot.) Of course, having spider DNA would just complicate things. He'd keep having to resist the urge to trap himself in a web. Oh, poor Mutated Woobie A.

Thus leading to the mental de-aging. All he does now is huddle in a corner and play with crayons with all eight seven (woops, forgot about the broken one) legs.

XD The silver lining to this truly tragic story is that with all of those extra appendages, he was able to create some truly beautiful works of art, the best ever made with Crayola. Sadly, just before Woobie was about to be recognized for his work, evil mad scientist boyfriend tore up all of his drawings in a fit of jealous rage. Then Woobie ate some lemon chicken.