... so there's this meme

[sholio]

I keep looking at interesting memes and then managing not to do them, because I'm really too busy right now, but I've reached a point where most of what I have left to do for the semester either consists of studying for tests or working on art projects (read: waiting for paint to dry) sooo, as seen all around my flist lately ...

Pick a paragraph (or any passage 500-1000 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

I'm not sure if "DVD commentary" is exactly what I'll end up doing with it, but I'll be happy to talk a little bit about the passage(s) that you select. :)

My SGA fic (except the last year, because I haven't updated my website in awhile) is here, or use my tags to find my more recent or non-SGA fic.

Comments

[friendshipper.livejournal.com]

I think it's hilarious that my reaction to anyone mentioning this story is always a brief, disoriented "... which story is that?" before I manage to slot it into place. It's like an unstory -- I can't ever seem to remember it! In fact, for a while it wasn't even up on my website (not sure if that's still the case) because I couldn't seem to remember it whenever I updated my site.

Which makes it kind of a hilarious one to analyze. But I do remember the writing process; I just don't ever seem to include this one when I'm mentally going over my stories. I wrote this for an SGA secret-santa exchange; it was the one over at sheppard_hc, I think in 2007. At that time I'd written a ton of season 2/3+ fic, and found myself with a craving to write the different character dynamics of season one. If I remember right, the impetus was that the recipient had specifically listed Carson in their list of characters that they wanted, but he'd already been killed off on the show. So I took advantage of the opportunity to move the fic back to season one.

McKay snapped back, "Of course not," but there was just enough pause beforehand that Sheppard realized, on some deep-down level, he really hadn't been convinced. A twinge went through him at that, because what kind of life did a man have to lead to believe that your squad members, your teammates, would leave you to drown, alone in the dark?

And what about YOU, John; if you were trapped in a dark place, waiting to die, would you trust your teammates to get you out? Sure, you'd like to think they'd come for you, but in that deep-down place at the bottom of your soul, do you really think they would?

It's fascinating to examine these characters at the beginning of their arc -- before Trinity, before Epiphany, before Grace Under Pressure, before all of the episodes that came together to form the level of trust and comfort that they have as of the late seasons of the show. I had to keep reminding myself that all of the trust and dependency issues that were revealed and dealt with later on had yet to be addressed at this point -- these people don't really know each other yet, and furthermore, they haven't been in situations that would have made them realize they could depend on each other.

One of the main things that is revealed in this scene is that McKay and Sheppard are both somewhat similar in this. This is still the Sheppard who, in Epiphany, thought the team had left him there. At this point there's a real gap between Sheppard's ethical compass ("Leave no man behind") and his deep-down cynicism that no one would do that for him. In this scene, he starts to recognize this and then shies away from it and focuses on the here-and-now. The epiphany that he doesn't have here is the one that he'll have later on in Epiphany and other episodes.

And Rodney, of course, is still the brash and insecure Rodney who was so disbelieving that anyone would rescue him in Grace Under Pressure.

And I'm glad to hear you liked this scene. :) This story might be the redheaded stepchild of my stories in some ways, but it did have some neat bits and I think this was among my favorite parts of it to write.

[leesa_perrie]

Thanks, this was very interesting! And I know what you mean about forgetting fics sometimes - it happens to me too!

Anyway, this is definitely one of my favourite shorter fics of yours. I love how you deal with early-John, Rodney et al. Nice to know the thinking behind it!