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Whumptober Day 3: [Alt] Deal with the Devil (Babylon 5)
You would THINK that the "Found Family" prompt would've been an absolute cakewalk for me, and yet, I couldn't get it to go anywhere, so you get another of the alt prompts today. I also found it pleasing that I managed to get the first three fills spread across all three of the fandoms I'm writing in for this particular Whumptober.
No. 3: “I look in people’s windows, transfixed by rose golden glows.”
Isolation | Candlelight | Found Family
[Alt] Deal with the Devil
Babylon 5, G'Kar, Cartagia arc; all hurt no comfort (500 wds)
Also on Tumblr.
Sitting in the dark, dizzy with pain, G'Kar had more than enough time to think. About the choices he'd made that had brought him here. The choices he had made after he got here. The choices Mollari had made, and whether or or not Mollari would keep his word, and whether he was even capable of holding up his end of their strange, impossible, terrible bargain.
G'Kar spent long hours wondering - to keep his mind off his broken bones, his flayed skin - if Mollari had a plan for how exactly G'Kar was supposed to help Mollari kill Cartagia without forfeiting his entire world. Killing Cartagia would have been easy. He had already had several opportunities.
But he could not.
He could not, because he had no reason to think that Cartagia's successor, whoever that was, would respond with anything other than overwhelming, murderous force to a Narn killing their emperor. G'Kar might as well set fire to his planet and his people with his own hands.
He could not, because he had told Mollari he would not. Not until whatever plans Mollari was putting in place were ready to come to completion. It was implicit in the deal they had made.
And somehow, alone and suffering in the dark, it was that reason that seemed to hold him back the most. If he killed Cartagia with his own hands, G'Kar would die in the same breath; he knew that. Even Centauri guards were not so incompetent as to fail to kill the man who was killing their emperor. He would not live to see his world brought to further ruin because of his own actions. It was easy, sometimes, to feel himself start to slide just beyond the point of caring about a holocaust he would not have to see, if it meant that Cartagia died too.
But he would die knowing that he had broken a vow. And that was just enough, in his lowest moments, to hold him back.
He could no longer depend on the integrity of his abused, failing body. He could not depend on his honor, on the core of determination that should have held back from breaking under torture. He had once said that he could no longer consider himself a Narn if he did the things he had already done. He was not sure what he had left anymore, except for the fact that he had not failed his end of the awful, inconceivable deal he had made with his worst enemy. When he had to choose between betraying himself as a Narn, or betraying his promise to Mollari, he had chosen to keep faith with Mollari. And he still had that, at least: faith, integrity, a promise pledged and kept. However they hurt him, whatever they made him do, the Centauri could not force him to betray a vow they did not know he had made.
It was a rope in the dark -- a rope that flayed his soul and left it bleeding, but a rope nevertheless, a rope that might lead back out to light someday.
Isolation | Candlelight | Found Family
[Alt] Deal with the Devil
Babylon 5, G'Kar, Cartagia arc; all hurt no comfort (500 wds)
Also on Tumblr.
Sitting in the dark, dizzy with pain, G'Kar had more than enough time to think. About the choices he'd made that had brought him here. The choices he had made after he got here. The choices Mollari had made, and whether or or not Mollari would keep his word, and whether he was even capable of holding up his end of their strange, impossible, terrible bargain.
G'Kar spent long hours wondering - to keep his mind off his broken bones, his flayed skin - if Mollari had a plan for how exactly G'Kar was supposed to help Mollari kill Cartagia without forfeiting his entire world. Killing Cartagia would have been easy. He had already had several opportunities.
But he could not.
He could not, because he had no reason to think that Cartagia's successor, whoever that was, would respond with anything other than overwhelming, murderous force to a Narn killing their emperor. G'Kar might as well set fire to his planet and his people with his own hands.
He could not, because he had told Mollari he would not. Not until whatever plans Mollari was putting in place were ready to come to completion. It was implicit in the deal they had made.
And somehow, alone and suffering in the dark, it was that reason that seemed to hold him back the most. If he killed Cartagia with his own hands, G'Kar would die in the same breath; he knew that. Even Centauri guards were not so incompetent as to fail to kill the man who was killing their emperor. He would not live to see his world brought to further ruin because of his own actions. It was easy, sometimes, to feel himself start to slide just beyond the point of caring about a holocaust he would not have to see, if it meant that Cartagia died too.
But he would die knowing that he had broken a vow. And that was just enough, in his lowest moments, to hold him back.
He could no longer depend on the integrity of his abused, failing body. He could not depend on his honor, on the core of determination that should have held back from breaking under torture. He had once said that he could no longer consider himself a Narn if he did the things he had already done. He was not sure what he had left anymore, except for the fact that he had not failed his end of the awful, inconceivable deal he had made with his worst enemy. When he had to choose between betraying himself as a Narn, or betraying his promise to Mollari, he had chosen to keep faith with Mollari. And he still had that, at least: faith, integrity, a promise pledged and kept. However they hurt him, whatever they made him do, the Centauri could not force him to betray a vow they did not know he had made.
It was a rope in the dark -- a rope that flayed his soul and left it bleeding, but a rope nevertheless, a rope that might lead back out to light someday.
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That is extremely G'Kar. Whatever the promise, whoever he made it to.
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Brilliant. That is G'Kar.
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