Trivial life stuff follow-up

[sholio]

I FOUND OUT WHAT HAS BEEN EATING MY GARDEN

I became even more convinced it was a moose after discovering this morning that some of the remaining pea vines were decimated in the night, evidently from the tops. So I was out there this evening picking the rest of the broccoli (so far untouched) ...

And all of a sudden, with no warning, a GROUNDHOG exploded out of the broccoli plants at my feet. (Definitely a groundhog/woodchuck. Not a marmot, not a ground squirrel. A groundhog. We do have them in Alaska, and this isn't even the first one I've seen here, but it's certainly the first one I've caught in the act of SHAMELESS GARDEN BANDITRY.)

They're reddish colored and large, about the size of a big cat. I screamed, because I was not expecting LARGE MOVING THING IN THE BROCCOLI. I'd had no idea it was there. It spend past my feet and under one of the cars and vanished.

So the culprit has been identified, and it's definitely coming back every day now. They can dig and they can also climb (jerks), so building a groundhog-proof fence would be a heck of a job. I asked Orion for ideas. He asked me if I mind if he pepper-sprays my garden, because he has some expiring bear spray and he wants to find out what using it is like just in case he ever has to use it for real. I'm like, sure, why not. I gave him some guidelines (don't spray anything I plan to eat, lower leaves only, etc) and went into the house to be out of the literal line of fire.

Shortly I heard coughing and sneezing and he came into the house eventually to report that bear spray is highly volatile and prone to floating on the wind. Good to know. A few minutes later, *I* was coughing and sneezing too, because it turns out it also sticks around on clothing and skin. (I didn't get it nearly as bad as he did, just a coughing fit and some running sinuses, but COME ON.)

He has now thoroughly showered.

And that's the story of how we bear-sprayed ourselves while trying to bear-spray the garden.

(He reports that bear spray tastes like very spicy food. Apparently the active ingredient is capsaicin, so it's not toxic. I didn't get enough of it to actually taste it.)

I guess we're about to find out if groundhogs enjoy spicy food.

Comments

[sheron]

LOL

Although it is nice to know about the spray so that you don't end up bear spraying yourself if you ever do have a bear encounter!

[sholio]

He's probably right about testing it in a nonthreatening setting just in case of needing to use it for real!

[sovay]

And all of a sudden, with no warning, a GROUNDHOG exploded out of the broccoli plants at my feet.

That's just rude.

(I am glad you survived your inadvertent bear-spraying. On the bright side it sounds as though you should be able to pre-season your broccoli.)

[passingbuzzards]

dkjghgh doesn't bear spray literally have instructions on it saying to only spray downwind? The last can I handled definitely did :,,D

I am glad that you both survived this experience and that you have determined the nature of the thief! (Would it be feasible to set some kind of trap + release it a few miles away, or something? Assuming you don't want to kill the groundhog.)

[sholio]

I'm thinking about simply writing off the garden for this year; at this point most of the harvestable stuff is either a) harvested, b) eaten, or c) unlikely to appeal to groundhogs (such as potato plants, which I've never seen anything try to eat, although hopefully I'm not about to eat my words on that). If it starts up again next year and fencing doesn't work, I think there's a date with a livetrap in its future. (And, I mean, I'm not completely averse to killing it if we have to - we've had to take out a few problem squirrels that were wreaking havoc with the insulation - but I really do prefer to live and let live with the critters around here if I can.)

groundhog ... or ground- and airhog?

[elderwitty]

Sadly, relocating nuisance animals isn't the solution we were once led to believe.

https://www.thinkwildco.org/why-we-do-not-recommend-trapping-and-relocating-wildlife/#:~:text=Relocated%20animals%20have%20to%20fight,Scrap%20the%20trap%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D).

[yalumesse]

Ouch, that's quite a day :(

[rydra_wong]

Oh no! I once very mildly capsaicin-ed myself (if you make a series of bad cooking choices you too can fill your kitchen with capsaicin-infused steam!), and that was a memorable experience.

[lilacsigil]

Well, this is where I confess that I had no idea groundhogs lived outside one small region of the northeast US, aka where they do the Groundhog Day thing! Wow!

I'm glad you've had practice with the bear spray, at least...

[extraarcha]

I believe they're much more widely spread than that.
I'm in Michigan and we have had a groundhog living in the back yard for years. Most likely not the same critter but a younger family member? (25+ years, so likely more than one.) Rather long yard so not close to the house. The occasional fox stops by to see if it can get lucky. I don't think that's happened, but why else would the fox(es) keep coming by?
Lots of squirrels. Possums come and go.
And we frequently have up to seven deer in the back yard, every so often. Some small fawns as well as bucks with good antlers.

[sholio]

I legitimately had no idea they were in Alaska either until a couple of years ago when I saw one and identified it from pictures. The range map is really bizarre; they are mainly a northeast/east coast animal, you're right, but then there's this stripe that goes up and over and straight into Alaska! WHY. WHO KNOWS. We have so many foxes around here that I hope some fox gets a nice garden-finished dinner soon.

[foxmoth]

Whoa! Ahaha, mystery solved! I saw a groundhog only once and Joe ID'd it: it was ambling along at Cornell, untroubled as you please. I was FREAKED OUT because, yeah. :)

[greenwoodside]

Wow. And I thought my mother's garden had challenges with squirrels and an occasional fox.

At least she doesn't have to contend with Groundhog Surprise.

Life in Alaska does sound about ten times more intense than it is in my densely populated part of the world.

[muccamukk]

Please update on the groundhog situation. Very curious if that will work.

I'm reminded of John Green just building a second garden for the groundhog, so that it would leave his be.

[sholio]

Result: it DOES NOT work, although it also rained half the night so that probably didn't help. Apparently pepper-seasoned broccoli leaves are delicious.

[sheron]

lol

[trobadora]

That's fascinating about the bear spray!

And oof, the groundhog! I hope you figure out a way to keep it from eating all of your garden ...

[sushiflop]

I'm so sorry but the quick turnaround on this mystery has me in stitches

[sweetsorcery]

Oh no! 😱 I didn't know, until today, that there's such a thing as bear-spray, but it definitely doesn't sound like something that would improve food. (Neither would critters nibbling on it, of course, so let's hope the groundhog finds it repellent too.)

[wateroverstone]

I fear that you may have just flavoured the broccoli for your groundhog who will now make an entry on the gourmet garden guide for groundhogs praising the quality of your brassicas

[sholio]

Yeah, it came back and ate half the brassicas last night, so it's probably writing the restaurant review even as I type.

[sheron]

lmao

[sheron]

Ahahahaha this is exactly what is happening

[wateroverstone]

I hope your groundhog gives you a five star review but takes all its friends and family to groundhog MacDonalds

[sheron]

LOL pretty sure the groundhog loved spicy food XD

[ivyfic]

When I was visiting Yosemite, I took a bus tour, and they aggressively searched all our bags for pressurized canisters and removed them. This is because a few weeks previous someone had gotten on the bus with a canister of bear spray—that exploded when they drove to higher elevation.

[lunabee34]

Oh, no. LOL I'm glad you didn't get too much of it.

I hope the groundhog is not up for the ghost pepper challenge.

[umadoshi]

Well, hooray for identifying the culprit! (Less yay for too-personal experience with bear spray!) Fingers crossed that you can keep it from further plunder.

[ellenmillion]

Tears of laughter! And sympathy for the garden!

[madripoor_rose]

Oh no!

Unfortunately, the best solution my gardens-for-food-budget neighbor found for a garden-raiding groundhog was a .22.

[pauraque]

We have a lot of groundhogs here, so when I get around to making a garden I should probably brace myself.

[leesa_perrie]

No wonder you screamed, no one expects the Spanish inquisition speedy groundhog of greed! But hey, at least you know what you're up against!!

Well, I guess that's one why to discover some things about bear spray that you didn't know! (Hope you're feeling okay now, doesn't sound like fun *hugs*)

[michelel72]

I somehow didn't expect you to have groundhogs / woodchucks / whistlepigs there!

I have them, and I had to enclose the top of my garden because they definitely were climbing up and over. So far, I have had success deterring the digging-under, but New England is pretty rocky, so just having the fence hard against the garden bed seems to be sufficient. (Also, they have an entire network running under another part of my property and at least two properties, so maybe they're just tired of digging, idk.)

Good luck!

[sholio]

I spent my entire life having NO IDEA they were in Alaska until I saw one a couple of years ago, took some pictures, and identified it from those! The range map is absolutely bizarre, they're concentrated in the east coast area and then there's this looooong stripe that goes through Canada and all the way into Alaska. Groundhogs, why are you like this.

It's kind of reassuring (in a way) to know that I'm not wrong they can climb, because they had to have been climbing up the pea trellis to get to the tops of the peas. On the other hand, this does make them some kind of ultimate garden pest; they can climb AND dig! I'm glad you've managed to thwart yours; that gives me hope that I can also proof my garden against them eventually.

[schneefink]

I would never have suspected a groundhog :D
Good luck saving your garden!

[aelfgyfu_mead]

Oh, no! I have heard warnings that bear spray is not like bug spray, from which I have gathered that some people have fared far worse!

I'd have screamed at the groundhog too, I'm sure, just out of surprise.

[hamsterwoman]

I hope this experiment at least results in the groundhog staying away! (also, you have the most interesting garden pests... although a moose would've been even more interesting, I suppose...)