You know, it doesn't really sound to me that you guys are arguing positions that are that far apart. I mean, you both agree that self-insert fantasies are natural, healthy, and nearly universal; that fanfic is full of the id and that Mary Sue stories are another expression of that; that mocking and bullying kids is nasty; and that fangirls of whatever stripe should have the right to their own spaces with their own social values, right?