I agree with so much of this. Particularly about Rose being selfish, because yes, she is, and we see more of that in Season 2. But, as you rightly said, she is 19 and much as she has seen so much in her travels with the Doctor, she is in many ways still very young.. and the young can be incredibly thoughtless and selfish.

I believe RTD also made comment during season 2 (possibly in the Dr Who Confidential about the episode Fear Her?) to that idea of kind of selfishness.. I can't remember the comment exactly but it was something to do with the series building a growing feeling that this cannot last, that they are spinning around the universe, carefree and reckless and that it's got to end, it's starting to catch up with them, the danger and the threat is growing and at some point things are going to go wrong.

Season 2 again also built more on the idea that you expressed above about the Doctor being not human, not held to human standards, and that he is very much broken by what has happened to him, by what he was forced to do to end the time war. And that he can be cold and he can be cruel. There is a darkness in him... and that makes him all the more interesting to me! :D