Hmm, I hadn't even thought that it reads like an attribution when it's set off with commas. I guess I'm just used to seeing people do that and parsing it as it's intended.
There might not actually *be* a grammatical way to interject an action in the middle of a spoken sentence like that. I expect that grammar books would probably instruct that it be avoided either in the way you suggested or by moving the action to one or the other end of the sentence: His eyes narrowed. "All I'm saying is that I'm not certain where we started from."
"Get out of here," his eyes screamed.
*snort* But the less of those the better, really, because otherwise you run into badfic territory. That example sounds awesomely badficcy to me. XD
"Get out of here," his eyes screamed. "Run!" his legs put in, and his nose concurred, adding to the chorus. Meanwhile his ears were humming a happy tune just to be contrary.
no subject
There might not actually *be* a grammatical way to interject an action in the middle of a spoken sentence like that. I expect that grammar books would probably instruct that it be avoided either in the way you suggested or by moving the action to one or the other end of the sentence: His eyes narrowed. "All I'm saying is that I'm not certain where we started from."
"Get out of here," his eyes screamed.
*snort* But the less of those the better, really, because otherwise you run into badfic territory. That example sounds awesomely badficcy to me. XD
"Get out of here," his eyes screamed. "Run!" his legs put in, and his nose concurred, adding to the chorus. Meanwhile his ears were humming a happy tune just to be contrary.