Ha, yeah, I hear you on this. It sort of depends on the situation, because I find it quite easy to engage in a thoughtful, private debate over a story I'm beta-ing, or one where I'm helping the author work out their plot. (I like that kind of thing, and I like having friends I can do that with!) But once it's posted, and public -- I *want* to have thoughtful and critical discussions of fanfic, the same way we do of the show itself, but it is hard to overcome the part of me that doesn't want anyone to feel bad about their work.

(Have you seen sga_talk, by the way? It's basically *for* that, and avoids the wank potential by having authors nominate their own work for discussion.)